'Growing up'

[pet chipmunk]

Since losing Joe, I've thought at many times, 'It feels like I'm growing up.' I have achieved so much that I know he's proud of me. 

I lost my driver's license to child support in 2017, and ended up breaking my heel the same year and couldn't drive anyway. So, it's been 7 years since I've driven. I've gotten my reinstatements taken care of and I'm now preparing to take the written test for my permit and will be taking the driver's test also. Remember the first time you got all that? I did when I was 17. And I remember the happiness. The feeling that I was growing up. Although I was young then. Lol. I'm looking forward to that happiness... That joy I felt... It's different now but I still get that giddiness and sense of achievement. And I always feel like I'm still growing up. I have pushed myself to be doing all that I am. I want that joy. I don't want to be alone. Joe wouldn't want that for me either. I don't need anyone to take care of me. I want to feel loved... Wanted... I'm literally afraid that I could live another 40 years.

I guess what I'm saying is that I take a step everyday to improve myself, my home, anything. Perfect example is my driver's license and it's definitely a step by step... My son doesn't graduate til next year. I don't plan to stay around here after he graduates. Right now, I couldn't tell you what's going to happen. But I can do things now. So I've got a part time job and working for my driver's license... This summer I'm gonna save for a car. That's my plan. But plans do change. I will adapt and I will be okay. Everything happens for a reason, after all. 

[KayC]

I'd be in a world of hurt if I couldn't drive, I live in the country, make 100-120 mile round trip drive to get groceries and gas every 2-3 weeks.

I'd have to say I did a lot of growing up myself after my husband died, at least I've learned a lot.  
Good luck to you on your driving tests!

[Boggled]

15 hours ago, Eternityhope said:

But I can do things now. So I've got a part time job and working for my driver's license... This summer I'm gonna save for a car. That's my plan. But plans do change. I will adapt and I will be okay.

Man!  Incredibly good attitude!  

[HisMunchkin]

23 hours ago, Eternityhope said:

Since losing Joe, I've thought at many times, 'It feels like I'm growing up.' I have achieved so much that I know he's proud of me. 

I lost my driver's license to child support in 2017, and ended up breaking my heel the same year and couldn't drive anyway. So, it's been 7 years since I've driven. I've gotten my reinstatements taken care of and I'm now preparing to take the written test for my permit and will be taking the driver's test also. Remember the first time you got all that? I did when I was 17. And I remember the happiness. The feeling that I was growing up. Although I was young then. Lol. I'm looking forward to that happiness... That joy I felt... It's different now but I still get that giddiness and sense of achievement. And I always feel like I'm still growing up. I have pushed myself to be doing all that I am. I want that joy. I don't want to be alone. Joe wouldn't want that for me either. I don't need anyone to take care of me. I want to feel loved... Wanted... I'm literally afraid that I could live another 40 years.

I guess what I'm saying is that I take a step everyday to improve myself, my home, anything. Perfect example is my driver's license and it's definitely a step by step... My son doesn't graduate til next year. I don't plan to stay around here after he graduates. Right now, I couldn't tell you what's going to happen. But I can do things now. So I've got a part time job and working for my driver's license... This summer I'm gonna save for a car. That's my plan. But plans do change. I will adapt and I will be okay. Everything happens for a reason, after all. 

That's so good to hear!  Best of luck to you! 💝

[pet chipmunk]

I ask myself almost daily... 'What good will it do to get upset or mad?' Sure, I get mad... But it really doesn't do any good or make anything any better. I did go today and took the written test for my permit. The 'test' part was making me very nervous... But I kept telling myself that I've got this... Not to overthink because that never worked in the past. I did it!! Another step in the right direction. Super excited and giddy... And to me, it is a huge deal...  I even made the guy smile behind the desk with my 'Yay' and huge grin... It's the little things that lead to the big things... I've never been handed anything and life has not been very good to me. That's why getting my permit in my 40s is a huge deal. 

You know, I'm here telling anybody that will read my posts because I don't have anyone else. I so appreciate all those that do acknowledge me... That at least pretend to understand how something so simple will brighten my entire day... 

I also know that my husband would be celebrating with me... He would have been there for all of it... Me 'growing wings' wouldn't have scared him, either... He would have been my number one supporter... Cuz that's what he was.... I miss him... 

 

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

He would be proud of you!

[KayC]

I love your joyous spirit and optimistic outlook!
Many of us don't have anyone else, that's one of the reasons it's so essential we come here and share not only our grief and pain, but also our everyday trivia.

Congratulations!

[Boggled]

2 hours ago, KayC said:

Many of us don't have anyone else, that's one of the reasons it's so essential we come here and share not only our grief and pain, but also our everyday trivia.

yup.  

14 hours ago, pet chipmunk said:

You know, I'm here telling anybody that will read my posts because I don't have anyone else. I so appreciate all those that do acknowledge me... That at least pretend to understand how something so simple will brighten my entire day... 

I also know that my husband would be celebrating with me... He would have been there for all of it... Me 'growing wings' wouldn't have scared him, either... He would have been my number one supporter... Cuz that's what he was.... I miss him... 

Passing the written drivers license test wouldn't be something I'd consider simple.  I'd think of it as a huge milestone ... huge!  that you've passed!  Congratulations!  woohooo!  

[Roxeanne]

On 3/20/2024 at 11:20 PM, pet chipmunk said:

Everything happens for a reason, after all. 

It's a sentence i always love...'cos i hope everything is meaningful...even when apparently it seems senseless!

Growing up is a great purpose after a painful loss...good luck for your license!

[HisMunchkin]

23 hours ago, pet chipmunk said:

The 'test' part was making me very nervous... But I kept telling myself that I've got this... Not to overthink because that never worked in the past. I did it!!

Congrats!! 🥳🎉🎈