My best friend, my confidant, my everything

[Bwoehl]

I want to describe about love at first sight, about meeting one of the best things that has ever happened to me, about truly knowing what unconditional love felt like. That description was my cat, Kitty.

i understand she had a generic name, but she was my kitty. My perfect kitty. I found her in a shelter in Las Vegas, she was a beautiful long haired cat, that had her back to the public, but when I first saw her and talked to her. She shyly turned her head and meowed at me. That was the moment I knew she was mine, and I adopted her immediately.

I loved everything about her, from her kind round eyes that followed everything; to her little feet that always kicked my when I rubbed her belly; to her tail that always twitches when I called her name. We truly found unconditional love with one another. She was always right next me no matter where I was. She always had to sleep next to me at night, I would get anxiety if she wasn’t in my arms. We just were truly in tune with how one another felt, and she accepted me for who I am as a person, never judged, always loved me.

she was with me through the pandemic, moving to 3 different states. She was with me through a divorce, job losses, heartbreaks. You name it, she was there. Happy, in my lap, making sure I was ok.

She was an older cat when I adopted her that was found tied to a pole in the desert and left there. That still consumes me with anger if I think of it to this day, how could someone do that to any animal, yet alone my perfect one.

I could tell she was getting older, she was skinny, didn’t groom herself and lost her hearing. But she didn’t stop being my companion. I remember just crying one night, holding her saying “I don’t think I can do this without you, please stay with me as long as you can”. And saying it over and over, not knowing how truly close it was to happening.

Last year, I woke up for work, kissed her good bye, I had a sense that it was it. I spent more time with her and I went to work. I came back home, she was gone. I still remember the feeling of seeing her, my heart shattering and crying in a way I didn’t think I was capable of doing. 
 

I will always miss her, will always dream about her and will always remember how she truly made me a better person. Thank you kitty, one day I will be ok, but until that day comes, I will always cherish the time we had with one another and hope to be reunited again.

[KayC]

I am glad the two of you found each other and had each other for a time.   I too had an older cat named Kitty...here is her story:

 

 

I am so sorry for your loss of Kitty.  

You can rest assured your kitty is at peace now...

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died over 18 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

[foreverhis]

17 hours ago, Bwoehl said:

She shyly turned her head and meowed at me. That was the moment I knew she was mine, and I adopted her immediately.

That is so touching.  And for me, very familiar because of how I found my Cosi girl.  I drove in the rain on a winding mountain-ish road I don't like for nearly an hour to go to the north county facility of a local shelter.  I had been looking for and meeting with older cats and was sure that's what I wanted.  But I couldn't get the pictures or story of a waifish 1 year old out of my mind.  She had been abandoned in an apartment by renters moving out.  The landlord found her with nothing, no food or water, after a day or two.  He brought her to animal services and from there she went to the shelter.

I was certain she was not the cat for me, but needed to let my brain tell that to my heart.  They said she was reticent and hid under her blankets when people came into the communal rooms.  They said she was overlooked because she was so shy and quiet.  They said she wasn't quite ready to trust humans again yet so to please be patient.  And yet, the very minute I walked up to her perch where she hid in a blanket nest, she peeked her nose and eyes out.  I said hello and held out my hand.  It took her all of 5 seconds to be up and rubbing my hand to say hello.

When I walked across the large room to greet an older cat I had been interested in meeting, I heard a "thump" behind me.  When I turned around, she was on the floor staring at me.  I leaned over, called her name (Cozi at that time), and beckoned.  She came flying to me, rubbed my legs, did that little "humpity jump" thing cats sometimes do, and looked at me as if to say, "Didn't I just claim you as my own?"  From there, it was all over except signing the papers.

I'm so sorry you lost your sweet girl. Your Kitty was a beauty, clearly inside and out.  You gave her wonderful senior years full of love and companionship.  You gifted each other with unconditional love.  There's little else in this world more important than that.  I'm certain she left for the Rainbow Bridge content in the knowledge that you and she love each other still and that you will meet again.