I lost my best friend yesterday.

[Daims]

Hi all.

I just needed somewhere to say what i have to, I feel broken and at the moment I don't know how I can carry on with life. I lost my dog and my best friend yesterday. We were constantly together , almost everyday for the past 10 years since I got her. She got sickly the past 2 weeks and within that time I've taken her 3 times to the vet and they treated her for a intestinal infection and got some medication to help with constipation. The last time i took her to the vet was yesterday , Most of her symptoms had subsided but she didn't want to eat much and i could see that she was in pain and I thought it was most likely her teeth which I was planning on getting removed. So I went to the vet , the doctor did bloodwork and checked her stool and everything looked ok so I booked her in to get her bad teeth removed and the doctor said I should come and pick her up after 3pm which i was going to do and i was so happy that she would be relieved of the pain she was suffering with. I live quite far out of the nearest town so it's about a 2 hour drive round trip on so the plan was to go back home and make the trip to collect her in the after noon. I went home and on the way home I bought soft food that she would need for the recovery period. After arriving home about an hour and a half later I got a phone call from the doctor saying whilst doing xrays for the teeth they had found a big tumor on her liver because of liver cancer. The thing that is eating me is the fact i never said good bye as just giving her to the vet almost made me break down, she must've been so scared and i just left her there. I would give everything I have just to have her back and i keep looking for her and hearing her paws walking behind me just to get reminded i'll never see her again. I don't know how to carry on and I'm honestly finding it hard to find meaning in life at the moment. Words can't describe the amount of pain I'm feeling. If you took time to read this I thank you and hope that you are not also going through a similar situation, it's a pain no one should feel.

[KayC]

I am so sorry for your loss, it's the hardest thing in the world!  My heart goes out to you.  I lost my soulmate in a dog 4 1/2 years ago.
You can rest assured your dog is at peace now...

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died over 18 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.