Lost my puppy in an accident

[dogluvr]

We had her for 5 days..and lost her two days ago. 

Im still hurting and have cried the past two days. I feel so empty and physically numb. She was only a 10-12 wk old cocker spaniel pup. We got her and she was covered in fleas so we did everything to get rid of them and it worked and we were able to see her curious, playful, and bright personality after she started feeling better.

She was the sweetest thing..always gave kisses, fell asleep in our laps, followed me around the house..and she’d stare at me like I was the only thing in her life. She was my baby and I never bonded so closely with a pup even though we only had her for such a limited time and I’ve had other dogs before her. She just learned two tricks on the day of her passing..and she taught herself how to climb the stairs because she was determined to follow me. 

She was eating her puppy kibble as normal and then she started choking. My boyfriend and I were right there as it happened..and I feel so guilty. I got the rest of my family and we tried everything and then rushed her to the ER Vet. The closest one was 20 mins away and she came in without a heartbeat but they were able to bring her back. She fought for three hours and then gave up.

I feel so guilty..it happened so fast and right in front of me. She was only a baby and I had so much planned for our future. I feel so guilty because maybe if we hadn’t tried to help her at home and rushed her to the vet her chance of survival would’ve been higher..or if I had taught myself how to properly do the heimlich maneuver before we got her she would’ve lived. I just never expected this to happen. Or if the vet was closer she would’ve lived. 

This loss has hit me harder than any pet loss I experienced. She really was my baby and I can’t believe she’s gone. Her life was just getting started..and I was getting used to our routine. It feels so lonely without her in the house..and I hate waking up. I cry every time I’m in my room because thats where I spent the most time with her. She just got her first round of puppy shots and I had to cancel her appt for her second. I’m so guilty and sad and I don’t know what to do. I feel like I failed her..and it hurts me so much because I know she loved me so much. 

[KayC]

I am so sorry.  It is the hardest thing in the world to lose our beloved dog.  My heart goes out to you, how the heck does kibble choke a puppy, my heart bleeds for you with this freak accident.  

You can rest assured your puppy is at peace now...

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died over 18 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

[AJWCat]

Oh my how devastating. I am so so sorry to read this.  But please... this is not your fault. I hope you find the peace you deserve.