Does it feel like waves to you? Does it...

[JonathanFive]

Does it feel like it rolls on, and rolls off?  I feel like I slip into something, it feels like a sound wave, but it's an emotion wave...

Is that what it feels like/felt like to you?   

I know this is probably a slightly bizarre question...

Does it, "roll on like a wave, and roll off for you?"   I have to know.  Is that just me?  I'm wacky

[Roxeanne]

Jonathan take it easy!

The rollercoast of emotions are  real common and i dare to say necessary on the road of recovery... 

In the first times overwhelmed you...But you will learn how to surf them...!

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

It’s not just you.  It’s like standing on the beach in the surf and the ocean is calm, then a large wave comes and washes over you.  Sometimes you can stay standing, other times it will knock you down.  I get the “knock down” usually at night, when all is quiet, then the memories come.  Then the wave subsides and I am calm, until the next time.  Those large waves of emotions would roll me over harder and more frequently in the 6 months after Veronica passed.  They aren’t as big or frequent these days, it seems.  

[KayC]

If you're wacky, I think we all go through that, especially in that early time (first few years), you learn to ride the waves, yes like surfing...

[foreverhis]

It's very common to feel as if grief is waves of pain, confusion, anger, and every other emotion.

My first 2 years, the waves were tsunamis that would come, smack into me, and wash over.  Over time, the tsunamis became waves and didn't come as often.  I learned to stand and let them wash over me without knocking me down. 

I don't think the waves ever stop completely, but they do become manageable.

[7779311]

For me, it's more like constantly recharging an old battery. I gather the energy to make it reasonably ok through a couple of days, and then I just crash - no desire to do anything, lots of tears,  the whole nine. Then I do it all over again. And again. This doesn't feel very sustainable. 

[KayC]

You are so fresh in this, none of us felt it was sustainable when we were that fresh into it.  It evolves but takes much time to do so. Trust me, I couldn't have done nearly 19 years if it didn't.

[HisMunchkin]

Yes, waves.  Sometimes the fluctuation is within a day, and sometimes it's between days.  I always start the day with a wave of anxiety.  That may or may not subside as the day goes on.  Then it's either sadness, pain, crying, more anxiety, extremely tiredness or, very infrequently, a sense of calm and peace.  Speaking of pain, I also feel muscle aches in my neck, shoulders, and upper back.  Sometimes I would just burst into tears.  I'm guessing this is normal grieving process? 

[KayC]

Physical Grief Symptoms What's Your Grief
Physical manifestations of Grief and Cortisol's effects
Physical Reactions to Loss
 

[DWS]

Speaking of waves, I've been weathering one of those storms with today being two years. These are short but brutal waves that are packing quite a wallop. A sweet moment of reminiscing ends up in tears within a snap. Batten down the hatches!!!

[Boggled]

21 hours ago, HisMunchkin said:

Speaking of pain, I also feel muscle aches in my neck, shoulders, and upper back.

The vagus nerve ... Vagus nerve - Wikipedia

Amazon has books about healing the vagus nerve and ... it's related to anxiety.

[HisMunchkin]

2 hours ago, Boggled said:

The vagus nerve ... Vagus nerve - Wikipedia

Amazon has books about healing the vagus nerve and ... it's related to anxiety.

Thanks!  I googled and found this: https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/vagus-nerve-cooling-anxiety#can-it-help-with-anxiety

So, ice, exercise, music, or massage might help, they say. 

[Boggled]

8 minutes ago, HisMunchkin said:

So, ice, exercise, music, or massage might help, they say. 

and probably stretches;  just looking at the cover photos on some books on Amazon ... gives me some ideas.

Amazon.com: Daily Vagus Nerve Exercises: Discover the Power of Daily Habits to Enhance Your Mind, Energy, Memory, Emotions, Focus, Behaviors, and Relationships!: 9798853655867: HURLBUTT, JACKSON: Books

[WithoutHer]

Today was a day I remembered this thread because it has been a day full of waves. My mind has been bouncing all day with thoughts I want to share with Vickie and she's not here. I keep replaying our trip together bringing her and her things here from Alabama. The times I took her to and picked her up from the airport when she went back visit her family. All of our adventures driving around to different places on weekends when I was working. How those travels came to an end the month I retired because the pandemic started. Yet how perfect it was being with her during that time because while we both enjoyed our adventures we were also content to just be home bodies together. We absolutely both provided each other the best years of our lives. That's the one thought I keep reminding myself each day to survive loosing her. She was the happiest she had been in her life being with me and I her. What a day of waves this has been and I have no idea what triggered it.