Can’t deal with the fact that I lost my mom at 26yo

[Sofiacsil]

Hi all. 
 

My name is Sofia, I’m 26yo and I’m Portuguese. 
I lost my mom May last year and almost 12 months later I still can’t deal with the fact that I lost her. 
 

My mom was fighting cancer since 2018 and that was a fight with ups and downs. At first we were very scared and it was difficult, because it was new and we didn’t know how to handle it. 
As time passed by she did treatments and every time she got a bit better. It seemed as if even if she had to do rounds of treatments she would handle it for a lot of time. 
 

We had such great times. I devoted my life to her.

 

On October 2022 we had the news that the cancer was stronger and that it kept resisting the treatments.
After that diagnosis, I devoted my time to find other doctors and treatments that could say the opposite. And save her. 
 

She ended up doing some more treatments, and in March 2023 we found out that there was nothing we could do other than wait for the cancer to take her. It could take weeks, months or years. 
Since then she continued to deteriorate. 
 

The thing is that I was never capable of accept that, and kept wishing that something would happen that would change things. But she still got worse. 
 

On May 12th I lost her. I lost my mom. My rock, my forever love. I lost her. 
 

Almost a year after I still can’t accept. I still can’t believe she is not here. I still can’t believe that I will never see her again. 
 

I still cry myself to sleep, I still cry and cry over and over again. 
 

I miss her so much. I’m constantly sad and I just want to see her again….

[KayC]

I get it, I lost my dad at 29 when I was expecting my first child.  It's so hard, going through life w/o him.  I'm 71 now, it feels like a lifetime ago.

I raised my kids to know about him, told them stories. 
Parent Loss: Continuing Their Song

I am so sorry for your loss.