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I'm atheist but spiritual. I don't believe in God or heaven or hell, but I believe there's something after death, that the essence of a person continues on somehow. Maybe it's more that I feel I have to believe it because the alternative, that we just stop existing, seems unbearable; especially right now. I also realize that it's human nature to try to find patterns even when none exist.

All that said...I'm still trying to sort out how I feel about this. On two different occasions in the car, I asked my husband to just let me know he's there...tell me what to do.

The first time, the very next song to come on was Ride, by Twenty One Pilots. I was playing a random shuffle based on my likes, but neither of us really listened to this group. But the lyrics resonated. "Okay That was sort of a weird coincidence" I thought.

Two days ago, I had another moment on the way to get my son from school. This time, I was listening to my husband's USB of music and Oasis' "Don't Look Back In Anger" came on. Oasis coming up was a little weird (I honestly forgot he had any Oasis on the Playlist, statistically, it was more likely for me to get something like the Ramones, Pixies, or White Stripes, something punk or ska)

Both songs are essentially about moving forward. (Noel Gallagher from Oasis specifically said "It's about not being upset about the things you might have said or done yesterday, which is quite appropriate at the moment. It's about looking forward rather than looking back. I hate people who look back on the past or talk about what might have been.")

So now I'm feeling a little called out in my grief. Same messaging in both songs, the only two times I asked him to send me a message while music was playing. I've asked him for signs other times but haven't seen any. Maybe because I have always had an affinity with music? Maybe I was paying more attention? Maybe my brain is just trying so hard to find a connection, any connection to him, something that will somehow prove he's still somewhere....

I'm not really sure what the point of this post was, but I've been holding this in for two days and needed to put it somewhere.

 

 

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HisMunchkin
Posted

I woke up shortly before "that phone call" and thought, "Is that you, honey?  You can't go yet!  Let me go back to sleep.  I'll see you later."  It felt like he woke me up.  Maybe to say goodbye?.....

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On 2/7/2024 at 2:55 PM, rlh said:

Maybe because I have always had an affinity with music?

hunh, did he know that???  (of course he did).  I had to look up the lyrics to both of your mentioned songs, rlh, (me NOT having an affinity for music).  

You would be the best one to interpret what the two songs mean;  like I say, I'm totally no good with music or their weird-to-me-seeming lyrics.)  

Play it again, Sam!  (or in other words, if he's responding via music, why not keep it up?)  is there a reason you only asked two times?

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29 minutes ago, Boggled said:

hunh, did he know that???  (of course he did).  I had to look up the lyrics to both of your mentioned songs, rlh, (me NOT having an affinity for music).  

You would be the best one to interpret what the two songs mean;  like I say, I'm totally no good with music or their weird-to-me-seeming lyrics.)  

Play it again, Sam!  (or in other words, if he's responding via music, why not keep it up?)  is there a reason you only asked two times?

Yes, he definitely knew. I was in band/chorus and drama club throughout school, and back when we were first dating, mixed CDs back and forth were definitely a thing. I read both of the songs as a message to not have regrets and to try to do my best in moving forward. I do know that's what he'd want me to do, but somehow hearing those songs play at such a timely moment helped solidify that. 

I did actually have a 3rd occurrence that happened since my original post. This one had a different message but definitely fit with the moment based on what I was feeling and looking for. 

I'd asked for signs before at times when there wasn't music, but if there was a sign, I didn't catch it. There were just those times that I happened to ask while in the car while music was playing. I also feel like I don't want to ask too much of him too often. I do talk to him a bit every night, I just don't ask for him to make his presence known unless I'm really having a rough moment/struggling.

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Posted
22 hours ago, rlh said:

I'd asked for signs before at times when there wasn't music, but if there was a sign, I didn't catch it. There were just those times that I happened to ask while in the car while music was playing. I also feel like I don't want to ask too much of him too often. I do talk to him a bit every night, I just don't ask for him to make his presence known unless I'm really having a rough moment/struggling.

Probably because you've got an affinity for music, you (maybe) catch the music messages better?  I'm so sorry and as mentioned in posts on the board, there's not much really helpful to say!  You are so close (in my opinion, now I'm 20 months "after,") to your "angel date."  "It" (the grieving) is horribly hard, awful! in the earliest months.  It was purely TERRIBLE for me.  One song that I played a lot (Google speaker) was "Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers.   And for some reason this song called "Counterclockwise Circle Dance" by Sacred Spirit.  (which turns out to be out of one of the Scandinavian countries, really, searching online I had read).  I had a friend years ago with a major affinity for music;  in his case, I KNOW he would catch messages via music far better than any other way.  

Speaking of "sound therapy," have you listened to Solfeggio frequency music?;  there's a kind using "binaural beats" that's supposed to help go into a meditative state, which is helpful I THINK.  

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Posted

@rlh @Boggled Have either of you read or heard of the book “Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe?” My sister bought the book, but hasn’t read it yet. It’s the first I’ve heard of it. It looks interesting. 

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2 minutes ago, Sar123 said:

@rlh @Boggled Have either of you read or heard of the book “Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe?” My sister bought the book, but hasn’t read it yet. It’s the first I’ve heard of it. It looks interesting. 

I hadn't,  but just joined the hold list for the audiobook with my library. (Right now audiobooks are so much easier to digest than reading)

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Posted
On 2/14/2024 at 6:54 PM, Sar123 said:

 Have either of you read or heard of the book “Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe?” My sister bought the book, but hasn’t read it yet. It’s the first I’ve heard of it. It looks interesting. 

I've bought too many books, some of which I haven't even read.  I bought one called Death is Not Goodbye, by Kim Weaver, a medium.  How to communicate with your loved ones ... she suggests doing meditations for several MONTHS ... maybe I'll do it ... eventually.

 Death Is Not Goodbye: Connect With Your Loved Ones Again: Weaver, Kim: 9781649535863: Amazon.com: Books

I got a couple books by mediums at my library, mostly they're pretty convincing ... of something I'm already pretty convinced about ... that some form of personal life carries on after death, where the person remembers YOU, enough to connect (at least at first).  I haven't felt any connection in several months but what do I know?  maybe people "go on" there.   Maybe they're waiting for we the living to be sensitive in some way to let us connect?  

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