Confession

[LMR]

Some people here will know me from my posts in "loss of a partner". I am still really struggling. Now oddly I feel the need to make confession. Nothing serious, childhood stuff. For some strange reason I got this idea in my head that maybe we do this all over again. Obviously some things I will look forward to but I really don't want to do the stupid stuff from when I was young. I just don't want to be that idiot and thinking about it I felt I needed to ask forgiveness for all those stupid wrong actions.
I'm not religious though I often wish I was. I tried different churches when I was younger but nothing stuck. Then I got interested in science and had too many unanswerable questions. My husband was an atheist. I always thought I was just sitting on the fence but after I lost him I realised that I really had no belief at all. So what do I do? I do pop into my local church sometimes. I used to go to light a candle but they've stopped doing that - safety! I say a prayer, weep. But they don't do confession and I don't have a Catholic church nearby, besides it would be hypocritical wouldn't it? Not sure where I'm going with this really. I just feel confused.

[widower2]

Sorry to hear that. It can be a difficult thing to try and figure out to say the least. Really one of the most challenging things ever.

I don't think it's fair to punish yourself for things you did as a kid; after all, you were just a kid. Youth and stupidity are like peas n carrots.  And IMO we don't re-live our past lives; that simply wouldn't make any sense to me. Why? 

Not sure I follow why you think going to a Catholic church would be hypocritical-? Even though one isn't near, might it be worth it to trek farther out anyway, at least once in awhile? 

Generally speaking, when it comes to something like this, I think the best bet is to try and reflect on such things and not be afraid to believe what you feel makes sense to you vs what others are trying to tell you what to believe. Of course again easier said than done....

 

 

[LMR]

Thank you for replying. You always sound so wise ☺ I don't remember where the idea came from but must have been one of the grief books, I have read a lot.

I think maybe what I really needed was someone to talk to about it so perhaps I will just go back to my local church and hope to bump into the pastor. On one of my first visits the curate came and spoke to me and she was very nice. A calming influence, but she has since moved to another parish.

It's a shame that my local support group turned out to be just a social club.

 

[widower2]

14 hours ago, LMR said:

Thank you for replying. You always sound so wise ☺

People who know me would so disagree   But thanks. And yes, I think just talking to someone is huge. I didn't have anyone early on and found a good grief counselor and unloaded a LOT, I really needed that, having no real support system. 

I hope you can find one!

[Boggled]

On 1/29/2024 at 12:48 PM, LMR said:

I always thought I was just sitting on the fence but after I lost him I realised that I really had no belief at all. So what do I do? I do pop into my local church sometimes. I used to go to light a candle but they've stopped doing that - safety! I say a prayer, weep. But they don't do confession and I don't have a Catholic church nearby, besides it would be hypocritical wouldn't it? Not sure where I'm going with this really. I just feel confused.

Seems to me ... if you have no belief at all ... why would you be feeling this need?  ... except that something in you IS seeking ... about all I can say because I don't know anything except I feel something too.

[LMR]

I did go back to my local church. I asked for forgiveness even though there was nobody there. The church does have a very calming atmosphere and I like being there. I think I've got over the need for the moment. I have always been seeking for answers.