"I need to do this alone"

[Ringoparker]

Hi everyone,

Been in this relationship for two years now (both 36) and things were great until last June when my SO was promoted. Since then, slowly stress took over her. First we delayed permanently our desire to move in together, then she slowly became distant when it comes to intimacy. She reached a level close to burnout. During this period I was trying my best to be supportive, but without any luck, she couldn't see I was there for her. I didn't try to fix things, just been there. Sure, there was a frustration building in me also because of that, because we reached a level where she couldn't stay 1 minute hugged in bed with me. After yesterday being awful, I confronted her, told her some things like she needs to understand she is not alone in this and I have feelings too and this is not doing any good. We've been talking about this since Christmas because we failed to enjoy our vacation. So, after a talk, she said: She needs to get better on her own, as much as it hurts. My heart sank. I left her appartment with my things and she didn't try to stop me. So here I am, crying my eyes out.

A little background: there isn't someone else and never was. She is fighting some sort of depression, almost tried to end things a decade ago. I am saying some sort of depression because she doesn't have a proper diagnostic or she never told me. She is doing therapy, but I don't know if it helps her, I've never seen any type of progress since we've been together, so either she is not taking the advices or the therapist is not helping her that much. She is not taking any pills from my knowledge.

I understand what she told me, I really do, but she let me go, she didn't put up a fight and it hurts.

[KayC]

It does.  I was engaged for a year in 2009/10 and he broke up with me abruptly when his mom was dying.  13 years later I found out he'd been married when he was getting ready to have his 50th.  They'd been separated when we were together but omg, we even went for premarital counseling!  I was stunned.

I am so sorry you are going through this.  Sometimes stress does this...

Here is my story and support from others...

I haven't dated since and doubt I will as I'm 71 now.  I wish you well going forward.  It's a journey, not easy but doable...
Here I Go Again