Movies/shows and Memories

[widower2]

We have a thread about music and how certain songs are meaningful as we connect them to our lost loved one, so I was wondering what movies or TV shows/episodes etc might have struck a chord in that way, whether it was something you both liked, reminded you of them, or something about the movie itself (the obvious being something about loss), etc. Frankly IMO Hollywood sucks at this. I've yet to see a movie where I thought loss was dealt with well.

But today I was watching a show about a 19th-century widow with three young children who found out she was dying too and was trying to find a home for her children before she passed. I don't mind saying I shed a tear more than once (a rarity for me now days), especially with the widow's letter she asked to be read at her funeral where she said, "remember me with smiles and laughter; if you can only remember me with tears, then don't remember me at all." I know my beloved had the same attitude and it just hit me. 

[widower2]

It was a good movie, but too graphic for me ultimately. tbh I wouldn't recommend it to anyone dealing with loss 

[shawnt]

I am afraid I am a sucker for a happy ending. Field of Dreams.

It could happen to you.

[LMR]

3 hours ago, shawnt said:

I am afraid I am a sucker for a happy ending. Field of Dreams.

It could happen to you.

Me too.

Groundhog day!

Our favorite movie was Out of Africa. It never failed to make us cry but it's so beautiful. Little did I know that I would be channeling Karen Blixen!

[shawnt]

Love Ground hog day, just watched it again 2 weeks ago

[rlh]

My husband LOVED British comedies, so anything along those lines is going to hit hard and although I've never been much of one to watch them, right now a part of me wants to start going through his collection to watch them now as a way of being connected to him. And, though not a comedy, he was a huge Doctor Who fan. He was a film nerd (went to college for it), and so also really liked old classics like Marx Brothers and Three Stooges. New Years Eve often involved watching Three Stooges until we couldn't stay awake (I don't think I've made it to midnight since our son was born!)

[foreverhis]

On 1/23/2024 at 11:30 PM, widower2 said:

It was a good movie, but too graphic for me ultimately. tbh I wouldn't recommend it to anyone dealing with loss 

On that note.  SPOILERS BELOW.

 

 

 

Cosi and I just finished the series Lessons in Chemistry.  I really liked it.  I'm a bit of a science geek when it comes to chemistry and physics both in general and in the kitchen.  I'm also a woman who was part of a generation that broke some barriers in the science, aeronautics, and space fields, so the premise appealed to me.  Still does. The casting was excellent; it was well written; it dealt with the beginnings of real social change and turbulence in the late '50s and early '60s.

But it was a love story too and there's where I almost wish it had come with a warning label.  Love and loss and the very depths of grief.  Moving forward in ways we don't expect, how everything relates, one thing to another.  And a little chaos theory thrown in for good measure; how that one moment, that one day, each decision leads us to who we are and who we become.  It doesn't get pedantic like that, but the flow of the plots in parallel and colliding gets the point across.

It's really good, but not for anyone dealing with new grief in losing a partner.  I would have turned it off a few years ago.  That I didn't and allowed myself to just go find the darn Kleenex is real progress on my own grief journey.

Absolutely worth the watch for those who are up to the task.

[Gail 8588]

A silly movie I list as one of my all time favorites is Galaxy Quest.  

[foreverhis]

As for a movie that is meaningful to me and John, the first thing that comes to mind is A League of Their Own.  It's an enjoyable movie in its own right, but the memories relate to our granddaughter.  She watched it for the first time on a visit with us and loved it in the way that only children can:  Let's watch it again and again and again.  Of course, we obliged.  When she was about nine (shortly before John was diagnosed), John made a little joke during the scene where Geena Davis's character catches a fly ball while doing the splits.  Our girl laughed and laughed and laughed some more.  I will never forget the two of them laughing together like that.  Our daughter said, "Oh, daddy!" and then joined the laughter.

[foreverhis]

6 minutes ago, Gail 8588 said:

A silly movie I list as one of my all time favorites is Galaxy Quest.  

We loved that one too!  We're sci fi fans and thought the way they did the send up of multiple franchises was spot on.  Plus, some favorite actors, especially Alan Rickman and Tony Shalhoub.

If you haven't seen the 20th Anniversary reunion/making of special, I highly recommend it.

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

Veronica was a fan of the whole “Harry Potter” series.  She read the books and was excited to watch the movies when they came out.  She would explain to me where the movie differed from the book, but she enjoyed the movies just as much.  

[Roxeanne]

I don't know if there is a movie about loss that  grievers can see without bad feelings...anyway we are all different and the movie i like can be awful for another person!

But if i can chose a movie about grief that i like that movie is: "Hereafter" director Clint Eastwood.

First of all 'cos in the movie afterlife is take for granted...then for the tender medium played by Matt Damon...then also for the grievers who looking for him full of hope and sorrow!

That movie talk directly to my heart speaking of hope...hope for a contact again! 

And more 'cos it's a great sweet spiritual inquiry about death...

[PO1LarryLost]

Larry and I had different interests when it came to movies and TV.   His favorite movie is/was Independence Day.   The running joke was that if Independence Day was on, he would say "well I have never seen this movie before - we need to watch it".   One time he made the comment at my mother's house.   The next time we visited, my mother borrowed the DVD from a friend so we could all watch it.

[widower2]

MY beloved's favorite was The Sound of Music...the thing is to be perfectly honest she was not a good person to watch movies with! For one thing, she was really bad about interrupting the movie to say this or that, and she had a knack of doing it at the worst time and for no good reason, like:

"And the killer is...."

"HEY ISN'T THAT THE GUY FROM SEINFELD, REMEMBER THAT EPISODE WHEN..."

arrrgghhh!

Fortunately it didn't happen too often because she usually fell asleep about 10-15 mins into it (I called it "theatrical narcolepsy"). 

[KayC]

I love Seinfeld!  My son had all the episodes, I hated it when he moved away!

[Kindred Spirit]

I'm sitting here alone, as per usual, reading your posts, and just wanted to add how much movies and TV shows wrench my mind right back into the "happy times" that, for me are, no more. For Mom and me, it was Saturday night, British comedies, and pizza. Every Saturday night for decades we had our ritual. Same shows, in the same order, at the same time, plus pizza. Over and over. We could practically recite the dialogues to each program. No matter how bad things got, as long as I could make that darned pizza I knew we were going to be OK. When the "terrible times" escalated and Mom rejected the pizza...I knew it was another sign that life as it had been was over. Like a door shutting that would never open again. 

I don't want to end on such a depressing note, so I'll share some of our favorites...Mom was a big Cold War spy fan - Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (the original), The Sandbaggers series, Smiley's People - heavy stuff, but her favorite movie was a fun take on the spy theme - "Hopscotch" with Walter Matthau. 

Our go-to favorite movie was "Waking Ned Devine".  That said, Seinfeld is a show I'll never forget. There was one episode where Kramer passes a kidney stone at a circus and literally brings down the entire circus, tent and all. Mom laughed so hard she literally fell off the couch. I started laughing because SHE was laughing and the next thing I knew we were both sitting on the floor clutching our stomachs...Such good memories. 

Lots more movies and memories with Mom, my dad, and my grandmother (who NEVER got the joke, so watching comedies with her was a comedy show in and of itself as we all tried to "explain" to Nana what was so funny). All that said, what do I miss the most? The inside jokes...we had so many inside jokes...One line from a movie we loved would set us all off...and now it's just me...

Take Care Everyone...

[LMR]

I love Waking Ned Devine. I have it on dvd and we watched it a lot.

[widower2]

On 1/27/2024 at 7:34 PM, Kindred Spirit said:

Our go-to favorite movie was "Waking Ned Devine". 

That was a funny movie. I haven't seen in a long time either, will have to check it out!

I recently saw an episode of Star Trek that tried to deal with loss (the mother of a child on board was killed in an accident). Typical Hollywood, they tried, but didn't get it right...it wasn't very well written (regarding loss at least) or well acted by the kid or directed. 

[Gail 8588]

John and I watched Waking Ned Devine years ago and loved it.  I'll  look it up again. 

[Griefsucks810]

My husband and I used to watch all kinds of crime shows together like American Greed, Disappeared, Unsolved Mysteries, that’s to name a few.  His favorite movie was Johnny Draco - he would watch it over and over. I liked the movie Casino cuz it was about the life of a man who ran a Las Vegas casino  with a young wife who liked to “party” all time , cheated on her husband, and she didn’t care too much of being a parent to her child. Their marriage was rocky and he stayed married to her despite all the heartache she’s put him through and also for the sake of his child.  There was a lot of action in this movie. At the end she left her husband and her child overdosed and went on a drug binge and eventually overdosed on drugs.