Life has been uneasy without my Dad

[Japonica]

My Dad passed all of a sudden from a stroke that came out of nowhere. I had to be the one to make th decision to talk to him about death and how he wasn't going to get well. His stroke caused him to have locked in syndrome so he only could move his eyes. So while on life support I had to explain everything. He was basically trapped in his own body. Which is no way to live. My Dad is a Navy veteran. Served over 15 years in and he was active he worked out ran 5 miles daily even at age 67. He was still able to walk on his hands so I knew keeping him that way was not him. I had to communicate the difficult questions of if he wanted to be kept alive like that he gestured with 2 blinks for no. My whole world is shattered. My life has been hell every since he left me. My sibling, my 2 brothers has been struggling as well.