Here's another one!!!

[Goforth860]

Tomorrow is my first babies due date. She would've been born Jan 15 98. I had to forget my miscarriage dates. If I hadn't I would've killed myself just remembering them. It's hard enough having heard her heartbeat and knowing her due date. When I found out I was pregnant they gave me a due date of Jan 8. But at my 1st official ob appt they narrowed it down by her size and changed it to the 15th. My second baby I had just peed on the stick and found out I was pregnant again 2 days  prior to waking up in a pool of blood. I lost my 2 babies and my dad within 6 mths of each other. And my dad was murdered by his father. I lost it and I honestly never really got it all back. I'm doing my best to get through.  I'm alright right now. Key words RIGHT NOW!!! I will probably lose it before tomorrow is over. I may lose it tonight.  Who knows. But I will find it again.  Like I said not all of it. But I'll come back to. Mostly...

[KayC]

I hope you got through it okay.  I was out internet and phone so am just seeing this.

[Goforth860]

It's ok @KayC. It was another day. I had a breakdown the night before when my ex husband called. My childs father. He said it sounds like you're sick.  I said no. He said then whats wrong with you.  I got quiet.  What do I say. Should I say anything if I do how will he react. What will he say. So I told him tom was our baby's due date.  He said whats that mean. I said our baby would've been born 26 years ago tom. He said I'm not being ugly but there's nothing I can do about that.  I snapped ik there isn't.  I didn't ask you to do anything.  You asked me what was wrong with me so that's what's wrong.  He changed the subject really quick.  We talked for a few min and I got off the phone and it was like a ton of bricks hit me. Of course you can't do anything about it. Hell you didn't do anything when it happened.  He made me drive myself to the hospital while having a miscarriage. He said I can't handle it. Um excuse me.  Wtf!!! How am I supposed to handle it. ALONE apparently. That's why I didn't even tell him about my second pregnancy or miscarriage. So I msgd my neighbor and she talked to me through text as I was losing it. Could barely see my phone to type. And I ended up crying myself to sleep. I had woke up that morning with a knot from the top of my shoulder down my shoulder blade and in the muscle on my side going under my arm. Which I did pretty good stretching and got most of it worked out. The pain meds helped a lil more and then I fell outta the bed into Justice's toy box. On the same side hand hurting my wrist. I was like ok that hurt like a bitch but not a broken bone hurt so I'm good. Then I got up to use the bathroom and it felt like I'd cracked my hips. I'm like damn Diane you can't even sleep or wake up without hurting yourself. So when I woke up yesterday I could barely move. Later in the afternoon it got a lil better. So it wasn't just a mental day buy physical as well. I was so thankful I'd made a chiropractors appt the other day for today.  So I woke up this morning to my alarm clock blaring. But I was feeling better both mentally and physically. I do my best to keep on keeping on and make the best of any situation. There's just certain things that effect my wellbeing and there's nothing can be done about it.  I do appreciate all of y'all. Ik I can come on here and y'all know how I'm feeling (for the majority of it anyway) and can comment not from idk a word for it but I guess y'all come from sincerity. Anyways i hope y'all have a wonderful day!!!  😊

[KayC]

My first husband beat my baby out of me, I was five months pregnant and miscarried in the toilet.  I just saw in the news they prosecuted someone for that...not for beating up someone, for miscarrying in the toilet.  Apparently if you're so far along.  She was found innocent, thank God!  I can't imagine the stress of that on top of losing the child.  We had no insurance.  He was a sorry son of a gun and I was married to him for seven years, barely escaped with my life, let him have our house, car, furniture, everything.  Your XH is void of emotion or anything to contribute, just like mine was.  Mine married 8 times, should be in prison.  Had kids with everyone but me, didn't pay for any of them.

I'm sorry, TMI...

All that to merely say I am sorry.  I really am.  (((hugs)))

[Goforth860]

On 1/16/2024 at 4:26 PM, KayC said:

I'm sorry, TMI...

Please don't be sorry. And no its not TMI. We are here for things as such. I write in this loss of partner for all of my losses. As you can tell. It is a traumatic thing to lose a child in any form or fashion. Whether you had just peed on a stick and found out or if your child was grown. I'm sorry for your loss and for the fact that he did that to you. I'm glad that you were able to get out of that relationship and to find your true love. I also left him everything. Except for my personal stuff and the dog and cat. I had my Snoop for almost 17 years. She was my baby.  You have been through some things and Ik it takes a toll on not only your mental but physical as well. I'm very thankful that my primary gave me this website. And @KayC you have been a true blessing. Not only to me but to everyone who has came onto this site. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️ (((hugs)))