Starting to have dreams of my partner

[JonathanFive]

It started yesterday - I woke up to us carrying urns around together.   This morning, I woke up and in my dreams we were both alive and enjoying life together.

Since it did not start, or I do not remember any sort of dreams starting with the night of his passing - 12/08/23; I imagine I am dreaming because the initial shock is wearing off, and my mind is starting to process.

I wake up with a huge sadness from these dreams, the reality of him not being here hits immediately.  I cry and wail for the loss of the true love of my life.   Only to attempt to find some solace in the fact that he's home with God, that he's getting all the love he ever wanted from God and the Universe.

I start to consider how, I've no need to spend time analyzing or thinking about the unfair realities of life, that it's so fragile, or that our existence on planet Earth is finite.

He was beautiful, he will always be beautiful, he died young.  I love him, I miss him, I dream about him.  What's a dream now - just a memory, but that's all I've got now, memories.  I'm both happy and sad for the dreams.

Edited December 24, 2023 by JonathanFive
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[Boggled]

I must dream, so they say, but I don't remember ANY dreams.  I'm sorry you're going through this, and surely empathize!!  

[JonathanFive]

I tried to update my profile picture to an image of us, it hurts so much, can't yet

[DWS]

I've found that my dreams play an important part in dealing with the loss of my partner. Dreams, in general, are a very neat thing. During the day when we are awake, our conscious minds are continually active and distracted. Being in this absolute state of grief, our minds are a friggin' mess....one thought leads to another and then to another. None of it making sense even though we think we're making sense or trying desperately to gain some ground around our loss. It's only when we're asleep that our subconscious minds get to play...free from all of the distractions.

So what happened to me in those first few weeks is things played out in my dreams. My partner passed away very unexpectedly and I didn't actually realize that I was walking around in a state of shock. I had two very distinct dreams where we went somewhere together and both times, I lost him in the crowd. I hated these dreams. How could it be so cruel that not only did I lose him in reality but to lose him in my dreams as well....but eventually, I discovered that it was these dreams that were easing me out of my shock. It's truly amazing. 

[KayC]

I've only had a couple of dreams of George, about a year after he passed. No idea why as we were always together.

[Rey Dominguez Jr]

Same as KayC, I have only had a couple of dreams of Veronica since she passed in June.  But in those dreams she was healthy, whole, and smiling as we were walking and shopping together.