Loss of my best friend

[KennyW]

My best friend died October 28th 2023. It was a complete shock. He wasn't ill. He just went to sleep and never woke up. He was a heavy drinker so I think that had something to do with it. You cannot detox from alcohol or benzo's on your own. Both can kill you.

Besides his drinking problem he was a good guy. Had a young daught who he totally loved. I don't want to sound selfish. We were best frinds when we met 42 years ago freshman year of high school back in 1983. I cannot fathom that he is gone. I can never talk to him again. Can't call him, can't stop by his house, can't take him to the store (he didn't drive).

I am at a complete loss with this. I am never going to have a friend like him ever again. Of course we had our ups and downs but were always there for one another. 

I don't even want to make more friends than the few i have. Death is way too hard to deal with. I only want to go through this a few times as possible the rest of my life. I already feel myself pulling back from the friends I do have left.