Jump to content
Forum Conduct & Guidelines Document ×

I found this offensive...


KayC

Recommended Posts

  • Moderators

I wrote in my Diabetic Group: "It took me many years to learn this after George's death...not until 11 years after my own diagnosis, which was 3 1/2 years after his death...when I came here and finally learned the truth. We don't know what we don't know."

(new person) to : Kay, which person named George died? Is how he died relevant to us on this group? I'm so sorry for your loss."  I replied, It's relevant to me, as the doctors let us down with his diabetes...a few years later I was diagnosed and they didn't help me, 11 years I got sicker and sicker. My son and George C.had been talking to me about Keto for a year, so I knew what I needed to do and did it. That was four years ago. One of the reasons I want to help this group is not just for me, but for everyone here, in the hopes no one else has to lose their spouse to it...nor they lose them!

Something about how she wrote "Is how he died relevant" upset me!

The other administrator lost his wife to diabetes also, many of us have used our back stories to tell why we're there.  Something about losing your spouse hits even harder than your own infirmities.

  • Sad 3
  • Hugs 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I’m so sorry!  To me, that is just a cold thing to say to anyone in any circumstance concerning a death.  It never ceases to amaze me the level of apathy in this world anymore.  I often think many of us who come on this forum and stay are more empathetic people in general.  Maybe I tend to over analyze things but it’s just my belief.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

Mine too.   And George C (the other administrator) lost his wife to diabetes also.  He's shared his story, wonder how she'd react to that!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

ugh! That was a dumb thing to say, said without thinking, but IMO not with malicious intent. Quickly I add that does not excuse it of course, but if this person didn't know who George was and his back story, I think they were just trying to understand the tie-in to diabetes/the group...for all they knew, he was someone else in that diabetic group. I think that's all they were getting at. But again, it was stupid and not thought through. 

People!  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Could be ... she might be anxious about somebody she knows who died/is dying?  So she wanted to know about George (who she apparently never heard of).  ?? (just trying to see how it might be innocuous really???)  (rather than what seems to be disrespecting your posting by questioning its relevance).

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

I would find that offensive too.  It's cold, no matter the intention.

It would have been so easy for her to look up your post history and find out who George was.  And even if she didn't, she could have asked, "I'm sorry you lost George.  He must have been very special.  May I ask who he was to you?" or something more thoughtful and considerate.

  • Like 2
  • Hugs 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Kay:  I can understand why you would find that offensive. The writer needs to take their "blinders" off and realize that like other serious illnesses, death can be a part of each person's story. How insensitive of them to be so blunt about something so serious. In the great words of widower2:    UGH!!!!

  • Like 1
  • Hugs 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
Jeff In Denver

Hi Kay, it's been a while.   I hope you're okay.   I'm sorry to hear that.  I would have been really annoying at hearing that, too.  I think they don't realize how that comes across.

 

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderators

I still find this true today.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
WithoutHer

Yes it does. It definitely helps me.

  • Like 2
  • Hugs 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use.