Where does grief come from?

[Boggled]

One of the first questions in this book, Hardcore Grief Recovery Workbook: An Honest... by Case, Steve (amazon.com)

was  "Do you think grief comes to us, or do we need to go find it?"

Thinking about the question, I REALIZED that, for me, my grief seemed to be caused by ... ME.   I was doing this to MYSELF.  At least so it seems/ed.  

But now I wonder, is it also, perhaps, my husband's spirit, in contact with me?  Also causing the grief?  If there is contact, if spirits persist (and I think they DO) after death, is grief somehow necessary to the contact?

[Boggled]

and, too.  It has seemed to me, in church or not, years and years ago, that I thought I felt God.

And that also caused crying.  Heartfelt, deep, deeeep crying ...

so now I'm wondering.     Wondering.     Wondering and wondering, and wondering, and it occurs to me, if our loved ones' spirits go into an "afterlife," are THEY in contact with God?  and the crying we do ... is that our loved ones' spirits now somehow in contact with God, and in contact, touching, US?  and what we FEEL is ....... so strong.