Thanksgiving-What's Your Grief

[KayC]

 

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Connecting to Gratitude with Quotes that Won't Grind Your Grieving Gears

GENERAL / GENERAL : ELEANOR HALEY

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For further articles on these topics:

Quotes, Thanksgiving, Gratitude

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There are a lot of things that feel not quite right about celebrating Thanksgiving after a loss. For starters, you're grieving, and grieving feels inconsistent with many of the positive experiences and emotions that you used to treasure about the day -- perhaps you can't seem to care about watching football, don't know how to spend time around family without the person who's died, or feel like you're the only sad person in a room full of smiling faces.

Not to mention, for many people, giving thanks and feeling gratitude for their current situation feels unfathomable. A secondary loss that people rarely consider is how grief can temporarily cut a person off from specific emotional experiences, like certain types of love, hope, optimism, and gratitude. Experiences like these may have previously connected you to a sense of purpose, comfort, humanity, or joy. However, since experiencing loss, these emotions may seem more challenging to grasp. And now, the emotional scales may seem tipped entirely on the negative end of the spectrum. 

So, I wouldn't blame you if you were one step away from writing Thanksgiving off entirely. Or maybe you're saying to yourself, I'll go and eat the green bean casserole, but there's no way I'm feeling thankful. Both of these approaches are fine -- as we always like to remind people -- there will be more Thanksgivings. 

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Reconnecting with Thanksgiving Purpose

On the other hand, if feeling disconnected from the day's purpose bothers you (whatever that purpose is), remember that gratitude isn't only for people whose cup flows over with blessings -- just like joy isn't only for people who identify as "happy," and purpose isn't only for people who have things all figured out. I'm reminded of the following quote:

 

Unlike many sentiments about Thanksgiving and gratitude, the above quote sums up the very best many of us can do when we're grieving: find gratitude for the little things. This quote led me to look for more Thanksgiving quotes for after losing a loved one. Unsurprisingly, most felt out of sync with the experience of grief and loss. However, after scouring the Internet, I was able to compile a small collection of quotes that felt accessible and not over-aspirational.
For More:
https://whatsyourgrief.com/reclaiming-gratitude-with-quotes-that-wont-grind-your-grieving-gears/

 

[Bou]

Thanksgiving......  oh Thanksgiving.    It was the last Holiday we spent together.  His family.  Shortly after Thanksgiving we all came down with Covid. I typed out a whole lot and then decided to not share it...... it did feel good to type it out.  Holidays are hard.  Other people are cheery and happy and inside many of us are so far from that.  I guess we get through it and have hope for better days when we can be in a better place.   I suppose we should all want that for ourselves to be in a better place, we should have hope for that.  I know our loved ones that we deeply cared for would not want us to not have that.  I wish I could say that I am there but I am not yet.  I am  hopeful.  I am grateful for this forum even that I do not come here all the time... I come when I need and I hope I help others if even knowing that you are not alone in your grief

[KayC]

6 hours ago, Bou said:

I hope I help others if even knowing that you are not alone in your grief

I think that's one of the main supports of our group!

[DotPark]

I'm a ponderer, I like to think about stuff and figure out why I'm feeling however I'm feeling. And I think I figured out why I'm not EXTRA sad about the first Thanksgiving without my husband. I have NEVER hosted a Thanksgiving dinner, not with my ex or Tom. I've always had to schlep to an in-law's house (never had one that could cook, either), hang around, eat, and go home. There was a stretch of about 15 years when I was single...my daughter would go to her dad's and I would tackle an all-day home improvement task, like painting a room or cleaning out the attic. So now I understand why I'm okay this week, or just not substantially less okay than I've been. For me, tomorrow is just the 13th Thursday without my husband.