How to Deal with the In-between

[Lynnross]

New to this. My husband was put into a long term locked facility due to Parkinson Syndrome and the time he spent serving our country in Iraq.

I do not see eye to eye with his family.  This has caused a lengthy, emotional trial case. They have had a no contact in place since August 2022. They have served me with divorce papers, they have stripped me of everything including my dignity. 

Chances are my husband might not even know who I am due to the illness. The trial is finally winding down after a horrible year and  half. I am grieving,  I am lost without him. I stay really busy but he evenings bring everything back in full force. 

How do I make it through in the meantime.  What I have been doing is not helping. If I stay positive it feels fake, if I feel sad it makes me feel weak, if I ignore it it comes back stronger. 

I don't anymore.

[KayC]

I am so sorry for what you are going through.  It's horrible what they are putting you through!  No idea how to help you through this, quite honestly, I'd think a good lawyer would be of benefit.  Try to keep positive, it's not fake, it's you trying to make it through another day and looking for good in the moment, anything good, no matter how small.  

Any ideas, anyone?

[I miss you so much]

Hello Lynnross, I understand very well what you're going through. My story is not exactly the same, but it has some important points in common. You have at least the chance of being married, so just ignore those "divorce papers" because you are in some way "protected" as his partner.

I didn't have this chance. We weren't married. His family (he had legally recognised a daughter)  only appeared when he was too ill and under morphine. She and her family only appeared to attack me and try to get a benefit from his death, even if he had very little money. They took all they wanted in the apartment; they even took personal belongings of mine.

They could do this because it was a therapeutic apartment and I couldn't  be in the rental contract, only the ill person could. They put the landlord against me with lies, unbeknownst to me. But everything came clear afterwards.

  I should have called the police, but I was in shock due to his death (the previous night)  and wasn't able to protect us, he and I. I couldn't really believe what was happening, all that have been happening lately. I was blocked, wishing to wake up from this nightmare.

I have found no legal assistance to denounce it, everything.  I have no proofs...  I was alone when these things happened, we weren't married, we were quite isolated so no friends who could talk on my behalf.

So I think I can understand very well your pain and impotence.

I hope you could find legal help and assistance.

[KayC]

14 minutes ago, I miss you so much said:

They put the landlord against me with lies, unbeknownst to me. But everything came clear afterwards.

Did you have to move?  I am so sorry for all you've been going through. 

[Lynnross]

On 11/22/2023 at 8:21 AM, I miss you so much said:

Hello Lynnross, I understand very well what you're going through. My story is not exactly the same, but it has some important points in common. You have at least the chance of being married, so just ignore those "divorce papers" because you are in some way "protected" as his partner.

I didn't have this chance. We weren't married. His family (he had legally recognised a daughter)  only appeared when he was too ill and under morphine. She and her family only appeared to attack me and try to get a benefit from his death, even if he had very little money. They took all they wanted in the apartment; they even took personal belongings of mine.

They could do this because it was a therapeutic apartment and I couldn't  be in the rental contract, only the ill person could. They put the landlord against me with lies, unbeknownst to me. But everything came clear afterwards.

  I should have called the police, but I was in shock due to his death (the previous night)  and wasn't able to protect us, he and I. I couldn't really believe what was happening, all that have been happening lately. I was blocked, wishing to wake up from this nightmare.

I have found no legal assistance to denounce it, everything.  I have no proofs...  I was alone when these things happened, we weren't married, we were quite isolated so no friends who could talk on my behalf.

So I think I can understand very well your pain and impotence.

I hope you could find legal help and assistance.

Thank you. It seems to be getting worse or I feel like I am getting worse. I feel like a ghost trying to make it each day. 

Thanks for your comment,  I am sorry and know how you feel.

[RichS]

On 11/19/2023 at 10:59 AM, Lynnross said:

I do not see eye to eye with his family.  This has caused a lengthy, emotional trial case. They have had a no contact in place since August 2022. They have served me with divorce papers, they have stripped me of everything including my dignity. 

Sorry for all of the trouble your in-laws have put you through. My mother was a strain in the early years of our marriage. And why? My guess is that her and my father had a rocky marriage; and when I finally got married, she felt that my wife "took me away from her." Totally irrational, I know. Sometimes dealing with family can be worse than dealing with with enemies.

Please continue to post here. Were here to listen and to offer advice, when we can. Lots of us here have had similar problems as well.