Mommy

[doe]

I loss my Mom on Saturday. After a short battle with liver cancer. So many feelings, I had started to talk to my Mom after a few years. I have gone from not feeling anything to dizzy and no appetite. Feeling lost to feelings of relief. I am 63 so I am blessed to have had her so many years. I really know she never loverd me like my younger 2 siblings and my brother the only son. I am a mess, trying to do some self care help!

 

[EddyV]

My mom is currently in the hospital and it looks like I might lose her soon. I have no real advice since I'm also feeling lost and don't know how to react but I couldn't pass by your post without saying how sorry I am. You're doing the right thing looking for help and I hope someone here is able to give you some words to bring you some peace or comfort. 

[Traz]

Dear Doe,

I feel for you, with all the mixed emotions you are going through. It sounds like you and your mom had a complicated relationship and I can relate to that. 

There can be so many layers to a parent/child relationship - love, dislike or hate at times, tension, abandonment, disappointment, rejection - this all can be really challenging to come to terms with. You can go from loving memories that make you sob, to memories that bring up really negative emotions about your parent. It's all okay. 

It's 4 years since my mom passed and I've had a lot to sort through too. I forgave her for many past hurts and realized that she was unable to move past her own previous trauma. 

I'm so sorry you felt that she loved your siblings more than you. No child should feel that way. I know my mom and my sister were always at odds throughout their lives and she has felt like that at times. I hope that things got a bit better when you started speaking to each other again. 

I wish you peace through your grief journey.