Beloved blind cat lost and very likely coyote

[Kristyn]

9 days ago my beloved cat “Tues” ran fromher sunning spot 2 feet from the bedroom door.  I was vacuuming and my dog got int the bedroom, ate her food and she ran.  (Guilt, pain, awful). 
big problem. Worse, She is blind.  Just 9 months ago she came in and stayed. We figured out she was blind !!!
min a way lucky for me…. It meant she was home more all of a sudden. Previously she was strictly indoor/outdoor with many hours spent turning her black hair to orange highlights because her time sunning herself.  

I read a post by someone who explained that when they went to get their kitten, to their surprise a kitten they had not ‘selected’ jumped right into the carrier and therefore that was the one.  That’s what Tues did!!!! She was instantly so belived!    I cherished every day to be able to see her. I just adored everything about her.  Crazy wonderful.   She would let out the deepest exhale purr sound that went to the core of the earth and beyond .  God she was so amazingly wonderful. 
When she ran off I didn’t see where she went. I did expect her to slink in after dark even though she is blind. It happened once before.  But she didn’t .  By Wednesday I noticed coyote I had never seen.  I have only heard them mile/s away.  I followed the 2 coyote and saw 3 more ata nearby almost dry creek.  Shocking! Broad daylight. 4 pm  
 

She never came home. 
my heart is broken.   So very very painful. The guilt horrendous. The heartache massive.  The mind. If only it didn’t have to be this. If only my sweet sweet one  could have been safe till the end.  She deserved safety.  This is very very hard to bear.  💔 that I didn’t keep her safe.  She is so so so innocent . 

 

[KayC]

You can rest assured your kitty is at peace now...

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died nearly 18 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

[Kristyn]

Thank you. 😔

 

[AJWCat]

Oh @Kristyn my heart breaks for you. I am so sorry. 

I didn't lose a cat the same way, but he got violently sick, some kind of poisoning (we think, but still don't know). Rushed him to the emergency vet, who couldn't save him and he suffered for a couple of hours. 

I tell you all this because I just want you to know, you're not alone in your feelings. The grief. The guilt. Anger maybe? Your comment about innocence hit home. I protected him for almost ten years until the end. I felt I had totally failed. 

It took me a long time to find a place of "peace" with what happened. Try to be kind, compassionate, and patient with yourself. You had only love for her and good intentions.  

[Kristyn]

2 hours ago, AJWCat said:

Oh @Kristyn my heart breaks for you. I am so sorry. 

I didn't lose a cat the same way, but he got violently sick, some kind of poisoning (we think, but still don't know). Rushed him to the emergency vet, who couldn't save him and he suffered for a couple of hours. 

I tell you all this because I just want you to know, you're not alone in your feelings. The grief. The guilt. Anger maybe? Your comment about innocence hit home. I protected him for almost ten years until the end. I felt I had totally failed. 

It took me a long time to find a place of "peace" with what happened. Try to be kind, compassionate, and patient with yourself. You had only love for her and good intentions.  

Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for writing.  Yes.  I love her so much and having her run and to be lost, stalked and eaten by a coyote is excruciating to feel.  As you know. 
when I open to it all, pain, grief, sad, rage , all that can be done in that place is to open. Hear breaks open open.  I fight it because I don’t want it…. But you are right I have only love  for her.    Love. 

[monciakd]

Im so sorry this happend to you! I found this website when looking for some help.

Two days ago my sweet boy cat Nowy sneaked out via doggie door with one of the dogs (they have remotes to open the doggie dor, cat doesn't, he was not allowed to be outdoor unsupervised) while we were sleeping .. he never done that before, sure he managed to get out few times during the day, but come back right away, never at night and never when we weren't home

First thing when I woke up I started looking for him, I just had a bad feeling 

Thats when I started to worry ,I was crying all day, and felt paralyzed.. couldn't find him anywhere in the yard, I knew he wasnt home because he would come out to eat.. l went to look for him around the neighborhood, and on the side of the neighbors house I saw some animal intestent along with some fur. Didn't think much of it could have been rabbits, I went back there later and look closely at the fur and it was grey just like Nowy's..

I got home and pushed away the idea that could be him thete was no collar near by or any other vody parts, started to post his pictures making flyers and drive around looking for him until the night time, but I still thought about that fur, went back at night and put it in a zip lock. And I started looking at it closely and then I was sure it was his

My body went to a shock and heavy overwhelming sadness, just couple days before when Nowy was at home I talk to my friend about coyotes in her area, I didn't see any around where I live but I I've heard they are there 

I'm beyond crushed and devastated, can't eat or sleep and function at all

He was my first cat, and he was a sweet one, cute and everyone loved him, he would be 1 in couple of weeks

It's twisted and scary that he went out at this time a night and got attacked so close to home..

I don't know yet how I'm going to keep it together knowing he's gone in this tragic way

[KayC]

OMG, how horrible for you and your kitty to go through!  I have heard of this happening before, but to see it....that is truly hard.  I am so sorry.

You can rest assured your kitty is at peace now...

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died nearly 18 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

[Kristyn]

11 hours ago, monciakd said:

Im so sorry this happend to you! I found this website when looking for some help.

Two days ago my sweet boy cat Nowy sneaked out via doggie door with one of the dogs (they have remotes to open the doggie dor, cat doesn't, he was not allowed to be outdoor unsupervised) while we were sleeping .. he never done that before, sure he managed to get out few times during the day, but come back right away, never at night and never when we weren't home

First thing when I woke up I started looking for him, I just had a bad feeling 

Thats when I started to worry ,I was crying all day, and felt paralyzed.. couldn't find him anywhere in the yard, I knew he wasnt home because he would come out to eat.. l went to look for him around the neighborhood, and on the side of the neighbors house I saw some animal intestent along with some fur. Didn't think much of it could have been rabbits, I went back there later and look closely at the fur and it was grey just like Nowy's..

I got home and pushed away the idea that could be him thete was no collar near by or any other vody parts, started to post his pictures making flyers and drive around looking for him until the night time, but I still thought about that fur, went back at night and put it in a zip lock. And I started looking at it closely and then I was sure it was his

My body went to a shock and heavy overwhelming sadness, just couple days before when Nowy was at home I talk to my friend about coyotes in her area, I didn't see any around where I live but I I've heard they are there 

I'm beyond crushed and devastated, can't eat or sleep and function at all

He was my first cat, and he was a sweet one, cute and everyone loved him, he would be 1 in couple of weeks

It's twisted and scary that he went out at this time a night and got attacked so close to home..

I don't know yet how I'm going to keep it together knowing he's gone in this tragic way

 

11 hours ago, monciakd said:

Im so sorry this happend to you! I found this website when looking for some help.

Two days ago my sweet boy cat Nowy sneaked out via doggie door with one of the dogs (they have remotes to open the doggie dor, cat doesn't, he was not allowed to be outdoor unsupervised) while we were sleeping .. he never done that before, sure he managed to get out few times during the day, but come back right away, never at night and never when we weren't home

First thing when I woke up I started looking for him, I just had a bad feeling 

Thats when I started to worry ,I was crying all day, and felt paralyzed.. couldn't find him anywhere in the yard, I knew he wasnt home because he would come out to eat.. l went to look for him around the neighborhood, and on the side of the neighbors house I saw some animal intestent along with some fur. Didn't think much of it could have been rabbits, I went back there later and look closely at the fur and it was grey just like Nowy's..

I got home and pushed away the idea that could be him thete was no collar near by or any other vody parts, started to post his pictures making flyers and drive around looking for him until the night time, but I still thought about that fur, went back at night and put it in a zip lock. And I started looking at it closely and then I was sure it was his

My body went to a shock and heavy overwhelming sadness, just couple days before when Nowy was at home I talk to my friend about coyotes in her area, I didn't see any around where I live but I I've heard they are there 

I'm beyond crushed and devastated, can't eat or sleep and function at all

He was my first cat, and he was a sweet one, cute and everyone loved him, he would be 1 in couple of weeks

It's twisted and scary that he went out at this time a night and got attacked so close to home..

I don't know yet how I'm going to keep it together knowing he's gone in this tragic way

I so relate to the heartbreak and shock .  It felt unbearable.  I spoke with our loving vet and she also consoled by sharing that her favorite cat (often having to do with when we got the animal and what they provided for us at that specific time…. Which was true for me) was hit by a car… and she has had another cat taken by the coyote.  It’s painful.  We love them.  They are yet so fully into our hearts . You’ll never be without Nowy in your heart so fully. The grief part is poignant and I am with you in heart as you go through it . 🙏

[monciakd]

Thank you so much it means a lot to me in this difficult time. I'm still catching myself to see if he's coming and checking the yard, but just to end up crying and felling like nothing is the same

After four days I finally had a proper meal, and it gave me little hope that I'm on my way to recovery 

I'm wishing you a lot of strength and to see a day when the world won't look as grim 

I took care of him to my best abilities and he had a wonderful happy life, I'm sure your baby did too, it's all we could do for them ♥️ 

[KayC]

I'm glad you're finally able to  eat, I know how rough this journey is.  🙏

[Kristyn]

8 hours ago, monciakd said:

Thank you so much it means a lot to me in this difficult time. I'm still catching myself to see if he's coming and checking the yard, but just to end up crying and felling like nothing is the same

After four days I finally had a proper meal, and it gave me little hope that I'm on my way to recovery 

I'm wishing you a lot of strength and to see a day when the world won't look as grim 

I took care of him to my best abilities and he had a wonderful happy life, I'm sure your baby did too, it's all we could do for them ♥️ 

You are absolutely not alone. It’s been the same for me.   Your love shines brightly through.