Mom and Dad, Brother and Sister

[Michael Thyfault]

Beginning March 15, 2017, my family stopped growing. My mother died that day after a two year battle with Alzheimer's Disease. She only got angry a couple of times and never wandered off. The social worker had given us sage advices and we left all of our negative feelings out of the house, giving my mother the love and care she so much deserved.  She was a life-long nurse and political activist.

Then on March 10, 2019 my 54 year older brother died suddenly of a heart attack, leaving a wonderful wife and two amazing daughters. He was a Internet company VP,  a tenured professor at a state college and never missed helping others and being a wonderful father, volleyball coach and classical music devote for his daughters. 

October 25, 2020, my 58 year old sister lost her battle with liver cancer, her beautiful daughter holding her hand. She also left a wonderful son and an ex-husband. We could not attend her funeral due to COVID, watching it on a YouTube feed. We never got around to giving her a memorial celebration in her home state of Colorado. The pandemic dragged on too long. She had moved to Virginia in 1985 or 1986 to get her graduate degree in journalism, she stayed there for the rest of her life, working on Presidential campaigns, on a Public Television news show and eventually a successful Realtor and always a wonderful mother of a daughter and son. 

On May 2, 2023 my father took his last breath at home in his room after a day where an open house was held and many friends and neighbors said their final goodbyes.  A retired high school History/Law teacher. Int he 1970's he was president of the local teacher's union that went on strike.  He he fought for better salaries, healthcare and respect for teachers who worked 9 months out of the year but gave more time than most other people give to their jobs year around. Classroom time was just the beginning. Planning lessons, grading papers and counseling young people was his passion. Representing teachers locally and nationally was his second and never ending job. He and my mother were award winning democrats in what is now a Blue County, but for much of our time here was a Red County.  

I once asked him why he worked so hard when he was in the small political minority. He told me a marathon is won, not on the day of the race, but  on rainy days when most runners are warm at home. When a retired guidance counselor visited my dad on his last days, he told my dad that he did more for his students than any of the guidance counselors. My best friend's wife became a teacher, because of my father. She is a wonderful high school teacher and was very saddened by our loss.

My dad, who was such a wonderful man, we worked together to get through the loss of my mom, brother and sister and still kept living vibrant lives. For many years there were 5, now it's just me in this family house. My nieces, nephew and daughter now carry the family torch and they make the family very proud. 

[LeslieAK]

Wow- that’s beautiful how you honor them - they sound like they would make an amazing family - I too feel alone now - my only sister died at 54 - we were close - so close- we got through life together  - I’m mad and so sad she isn’t here.  My mom passed 13 years ago from cancer - there are so many pictures of my mom, my sister and I and it’s so surreal now when I see them … I am the only one left of this powerhouse trio - why am I here still? It’s so lonely.  Big hug to you from someone who feels your pain 

[Traz]

Hi Michael Thyfault,

Reading your loving words toward your family members brought tears to my eyes. 

In six years, you have lost your entire birth family, with very little time to grieve between each death. I would not cope very well, if it were me. I sense that you have great strength and what helps you is to honor them with love and grace every day. I'm also struck by your family members' altruism and goodness. They achieved success but more importantly, they helped people and made a difference in their lives. I sense you have this great compassion too. 

I'm the youngest sibling with two living sisters. Our mom, dad and brother are gone. I hope I can find as much courage as you seem to have, if I am ever in that position. 

Thank you for sharing and take good care. 

[Michael Thyfault]

Thank you for the wonderful replies. All my bets wishes and prayer to you and your loved ones.

[Marah Parker]

I lost my mom in 2010 my brother in March of this year and my dad a couple of weeks ago. I can relate to how you feel and i'm so sorry we have to share the same pain. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. My heart goes out to you.