Moderators Popular Post widower2 Posted September 25, 2023 Moderators Popular Post Report Share Posted September 25, 2023 For those who have been at this for years vs days/weeks/months....do you feel like somehow time stopped? Like I look back and it's been years and years, but I still feel like it's been a year or two vs many more. I can't accept it or that I'm as old as I am or as much time has gone by as it has. I've been without her longer than we were together. That's totally beyond my comprehension. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 25, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted September 25, 2023 No, unfortunately time didn't stop, it marched on with me getting older and older, without him. But LIFE stopped in a way because the life I had with him is gone, it hasn't been here since he was. I think we all have the same experience, maybe just handle it differently or express it differently. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted September 25, 2023 Author Moderators Report Share Posted September 25, 2023 Yeah, that's basically what I meant. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Roxeanne Posted September 25, 2023 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 25, 2023 18 hours ago, widower2 said: I still feel like it's been a year or two vs many more. I don't feel it's been a year or two! I feel all the burden of 5 years without him....my life is not so beautiful, funny , sparkling emotional as it was with him! Very few hearty laughs without him...e dio sa quanto mi mancano! God knows how i miss them! What i still feel surreal and weird is his absence...i always expect to meet him around the corner! 3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post LMR Posted September 25, 2023 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 25, 2023 Time to me has a duality. It seems like yesterday and many years ago all at the same time.😟 8 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted September 25, 2023 Author Moderators Report Share Posted September 25, 2023 23 minutes ago, LMR said: Time to me has a duality. It seems like yesterday and many years ago all at the same time.😟 Bingo, exactly 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators Popular Post KayC Posted September 26, 2023 Moderators Popular Post Report Share Posted September 26, 2023 To me it seems like a long ago movie I once watched, like an unreality to it, 18 years is a long time... Yet the memories are real and they carry me. I once had a man who loved me more than the moon and back. 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted September 28, 2023 Members Report Share Posted September 28, 2023 On 9/25/2023 at 3:14 PM, LMR said: Time to me has a duality. It seems like yesterday and many years ago all at the same time.😟 Yes, it does. I suppose time did seem to stop for the first 2 years or so. I felt like I was in a bubble with the rest of the world flowing by. Now I definitely feel the duality, but not always. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted September 28, 2023 Author Moderators Report Share Posted September 28, 2023 Wow. I wish it only lasted 2 yrs. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted September 28, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted September 28, 2023 I know, right?! Annie has amazing support arounf her, I think that helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted September 28, 2023 Members Report Share Posted September 28, 2023 5 hours ago, KayC said: I know, right?! Annie has amazing support arounf her, I think that helps. I know how lucky I am that I have two small loyal and loving circles of friends and family (one local and one 3-5 hours distant) who have been there for us/me through everything. Our circles had already grown smaller as we lost (or “kicked out”) friends and even a few family members after his bicycling accident that nearly killed him and when some years later, I developed multiple autoimmune conditions. We had experienced the pain of losing people we considered close to us, so those who remained were precious. In fact, my support system has gotten stronger over the years, which I know is far from typical. Surprisingly (to me), some of that happened during 2020 throughout lockdowns and the stress of COVID. By spring of 2021 when things were starting to settle a bit and we were getting vaccinated, I began to feel part of the world again. At 2-1/2 to 3 years or so, I was able to feel some hope and bits of a different kind of happiness. By the beginning of 2022, I had fewer days of feeling disconnected, though I doubt that will ever go away entirely. I believe part of the reason I was able to start piercing that bubble is that the people who remained close and who grew closer all help me bring John along on my journey. He is part of me and therefore, part of the whole in my relationships now and always. I do not take the grace John and I have been given for granted. 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post William M Posted September 30, 2023 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted September 30, 2023 A few days after I lost my wife, I posted here about the thought and fear that one day I would look back and it will have been years since I been with, talked to, and seen my wife. At that time, I had just lost her, and still felt more with her than without. Now as time passes, ( almost 2 years) that fear of her receding into my past is slowly day by day, becoming my realty. That thought terrified me that first week and does the same now. Though, as said, it was at the same time like yesterday. As you all know, it's very hard to put these type of thoughts into coherent words. I think that due to us trying to make since of the unthinkable. 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post LMR Posted October 1, 2023 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted October 1, 2023 Painful as it sometimes is, I have a photo of him on display that I talk to, kiss goodnight. Perhaps I am prolonging my misery by keeping him so much to the forefront but I am not ready to let him go. I don't think I ever will be. He was my life for 47 years, just about everything I think or do can relate to him in some way. After 3 years I still struggle to get through each day. I do go out. See friends, family. I have some enjoyable times but the hole in my being is always there. 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 1, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted October 1, 2023 George was only in my life 6 1/2 years, gone now for over 18, but he is still a part of my life. I too have a photo on a wall...he looks so handsome. I prefer him sitting on the loveseat with me but we can't be choosers... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted October 1, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted October 1, 2023 47 minutes ago, Sim7079 said: & despite the saying ‘time is a healer’. It doesn’t really. I think we just learn to carry the grieve with us Yes, definitely. Well put. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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