Trying is exhausting

[LMR]

This last couple of weeks have been so exhausting. I think I'm getting a handle on this - after three years, and then I find myself just wanting to give up. I don't think I can keep on going. I feel like an outsider all the time, well, most of the time. I want to go home. I want to go back to Nevada but even if I did, is that going to be enough? There is no home without him.

 

[KayC]

It will kill me to leave this place that we shared.

[Jemiga70]

23 hours ago, LMR said:

I feel like an outsider all the time, well, most of the time. I want to go home. I want to go back to Nevada but even if I did, is that going to be enough?

My thoughts lately.  We were nomads, a life shared living in Asia.  My friend asked me "would it have been as much fun if you weren't together? If you were by yourself would you have enjoyed it so much?"

I'm heading back this coming winter for a visit and look around to answer that question, to see if there is the possibility of a future life there for me alone.

[LMR]

We were kind of nomadic too. 10 years in Africa, 5 years in UK, two years on the road around USA, back to UK, then to Nevada and suddenly another 30 years have flown by. Nevada just felt right for us. We loved it. It was definitely home.

I wish you luck with your trip. It's hard to figure out that balance.