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Birthday anniversary


cowsaregreat

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In 2 day's time, it's his birthday. Because I'm in another country now, the date falls on both tomorrow and the next day, so I feel like I'm having to go through it twice.  He would have been 43. His family are holding his celebration of life memorial on his birthday.

In Oct, it'll be 1 year since he passed. It feels like 12 weeks, not 12 months. I chose not to fly back to his country for the memorial because I'm not feeling well emotionally and physically and the complicated grief is overwhelming (he was mentally ill and abusive).

What I'd like to know is how do you honour and/or celebrate their birthdays? I'm currently in bed crying, which isn't what he'd like me to do, I'm sure.

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On 9/9/2023 at 7:05 AM, behindthedunes said:

What I'd like to know is how do you honour and/or celebrate their birthdays?

This past June was her birthday, number 3 without her.  I had big plans to go to a Japanese restaurant by myself and "celebrate." In the end I just couldn't do it.  Maybe next year?  So instead I drank a couple beers in a park with a nice view and talked to her in my head.  I hope - wherever she is - she understands how tough this is.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

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Rey Dominguez Jr

I mentioned in another thread my wife Veronica’s birthday is Nov 7, coming up.  Will be my first with her not here.  Her sister wants to come and visit from TX around that time.  I guess it will be okay.  Only thing I thought I might do is visit Veronica at the cemetery.  I’m sure my sister-in-law would like to visit her final resting place for the first time.  Sister-in-law is, after all, grieving also.  Veronica was the one who would call people on their birthday and we would both sing “Happy Birthday”. You could practically hear the person at the other end smile, then start laughing at our singing.  Needless to say, we don’t call and sing anymore.  Veronica’s favorite was pumpkin pie with Cool Whip for her birthday.  Don’t know that I can stomach pumpkin pie anymore.  😪

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It is very hard doing their birthdays and our anniversaries and anv. of death without them here with us...VERY hard!  My heart goes out to you, partiularly those newer in this.

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