Older brother

[Momof2]

My older brother just recently took his own life .. 10 days before my 30th birthday . He struggled with drugs like more than half of my family . My mom always tried to give us drugs as kids he took them I did not . I blame her . I’m angry I’m frustrated . I hadn’t seen my brother in over 14 years . We FaceTimed but never in person again. Idk how to deal with the pain of losing a sibling . It was just the 2 of us . We grew up together and everyone only seen him as a drug addict , but I new him before the drugs . It was just so sudden . He was mad at me and it kills me !