What does it mean to "move on"?

[Nancy2]

What does it mean when people say to move on?  How do you know if you're moving on or not?  I hate that term anyway, and I don't understand it.  Not really.  Is it moving on emotionally or functioning and doing things day by day or a little of both?

[shawnt]

I think both, living with the sadness and getting on with it.

Plus I think what most people really want is for us to be quiet about it and be who we used to be(as if). I choose to believe they mean well.

[KayC]

26 minutes ago, Nancy2 said:

when people say to move on?

Personally I'd tell them where to get off...imo no one should EVER tell us to "move on!"  That is for THEM, not us.  So THEY can be comfortable....but this isn't about them, this is about US losing our most important person and trying to deal with it the best we know how!

And any therapist that would use that term should be disbarred!!  Mine did and should have been.

[I miss you so much]

3 hours ago, KayC said:

Personally I'd tell them where to get off...imo no one should EVER tell us to "move on!"  That is for THEM, not us.  So THEY can be comfortable....but this isn't about them, this is about US losing our most important person and trying to deal with it the best we know how!

And any therapist that would use that term should be disbarred!!  Mine did and should have been.

Thanks for these words I totally agree with.

There is no "move on"

[Sar123]

4 hours ago, shawnt said:

I think both, living with the sadness and getting on with it.

Plus I think what most people really want is for us to be quiet about it and be who we used to be(as if). I choose to believe they mean well.

I agree with this.

The latest term that has replaced “moving on” is “moving forward” which makes a little more sense than “moving on. “ To me, it implies that we should forget our old lives that we had with our spouse/partner and we don’t want that. I look at “moving forward” more like moving out of the sea of grief where I’m still treading water. I don’t want to remain there so I’m working my way out of it if that makes sense.  Is that “moving forward?” What’s a better term? I want to get to the place where I don’t cry every day and find the place where the memories of my husband make me smile and I can share stories with my grandson about his Grandpa Dave.

One way I’m going to honor his memory is with Storyworth. It’s a site that where they ask you questions about your life and make it into a hardcover book (it does cost $$). Each week they send you a question or you can write your own questions. Each question becomes a chapter and you can add photos as well. I’m making one to give to our grandson (he’s 14 months) and my son will be able to read it to him so that he will get to know what his Grandpa Dave was like. How I wish they could have known one another. Anyway, this is just one way to let him know who his other grandpa was. 

[jash]

8 minutes ago, Sar123 said:

I agree with this.

The latest term that has replaced “moving on” is “moving forward” which makes a little more sense than “moving on. “ To me, it implies that we should forget our old lives that we had with our spouse/partner and we don’t want that. I look at “moving forward” more like moving out of the sea of grief where I’m still treading water. I don’t want to remain there so I’m working my way out of it if that makes sense.  Is that “moving forward?” What’s a better term? I want to get to the place where I don’t cry every day and find the place where the memories of my husband make me smile and I can share stories with my grandson about his Grandpa Dave.

One way I’m going to honor his memory is with Storyworth. It’s a site that where they ask you questions about your life and make it into a hardcover book (it does cost $$). Each week they send you a question or you can write your own questions. Each question becomes a chapter and you can add photos as well. I’m making one to give to our grandson (he’s 14 months) and my son will be able to read it to him so that he will get to know what his Grandpa Dave was like. How I wish they could have known one another. Anyway, this is just one way to let him know who his other grandpa was. 

Dear,

The loss is very very personal that no one can understand what that one word of move on makes us feel. Most of the time we do want to think about their routine. How was life before. I get that . sending you hugs and love 💖🫂.you are not alone.

[KayC]

4 hours ago, Sar123 said:

The latest term that has replaced “moving on” is “moving forward” which makes a little more sense than “moving on. “

Moving forward implies continuing from where you are, whereas moving on (from) implies leaving them  behind.

[DWS]

I like Mark's explanation of moving forward in this video from his Lost Without Her channel. At first, I found it a bit distracting that he uses the term "moving forwards" (with an "s") instead of "moving forward" but I learned that that is the grammatically British way.