Members Popular Post DWS Posted June 25, 2023 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted June 25, 2023 It's another Sunday morning. The weather here today is gorgeous...sunny and very warm. The winds are calm. It's quiet in the house. I've been puttering and doing some cleaning, made the bed, had my juice and a banana just like every morning....and just like every morning when Tom was here but he's not here anymore. It all feels so surreal to have another familiar Sunday morning where I carry on as before but without him. The loneliness is awful and yet, like so often, I want to be with his absence rather than someone else's presence. Trying to come to grips with this kind of craziness, I went searching and found this What's Your Grief article. It helps a bit... https://whatsyourgrief.com/unique-loneliness-grief/ 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 25, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted June 25, 2023 I love whatsyourgrief.com You can sign up for articles to be sent to you also and I have a folder in my email on grief. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DWS Posted June 26, 2023 Author Members Report Share Posted June 26, 2023 20 hours ago, KayC said: I love whatsyourgrief.com Yes, their articles are nicely written with warmth and insight mixed with a down-to-earth way of conveying observation and advice. Often in grief, I think we just need someone to use words and put them into sentences to help us bring some sort of clarity to our jumbled, foggy, confused, busy minds. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Gail 8588 Posted June 28, 2023 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted June 28, 2023 On 6/25/2023 at 10:36 AM, DWS said: ....The loneliness is awful and yet, like so often, I want to be with his absence rather than someone else's presence..... My husband was a Blues musician and there are so many lines from Blues songs that speak to the human condition of grief, longing and loneliness. This old phrase rings so true to me: "I'd rather be blue, thinking of you, than be happy with somebody new." Gail 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shinka Posted June 28, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 28, 2023 4 hours ago, Gail 8588 said: rather be blue, thinking of you, than be happy with somebody new." Yes, very true indeed.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DWS Posted June 28, 2023 Author Members Report Share Posted June 28, 2023 10 hours ago, Gail 8588 said: This old phrase rings so true to me: "I'd rather be blue, thinking of you, than be happy with somebody new." I so love that. It speaks this feeling so poetically. And of course, it's only those who truly feel grief that understand it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 28, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted June 28, 2023 Today a Dash lady delivered a package, she's two years older than me and fell for my place, said she could help out if I let her come up weekends...as she limped away. I value my privacy, that's all I could think after she left. My timetable, my foods, my puppy, my life.... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gail 8588 Posted June 29, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 29, 2023 Kay, Maybe we are both paranoid, but I am with you. I would not risk inviting this stranger into my life. Too many unknowns. My mind races through a list of horribles, if she was injured "helping out" would she sue you, if she overstayed her welcome, could you get her out of your home, does she have unsavory friends or family that would become a problem. Maybe all these are slim possibilities, but the downside risk is potentially great, and the upside benefit is not grounded in any facts. I'd be flattered that she loved your private retreat, accept the compliment, and decline the offer of her help. It is sort of sad to have to be so suspicious of people, but we are very vulnerable. You, Kodie and Panther are safe tucked away in your beautiful corner of the world. I wouldn't let any stranger into your sanctuary. There will be safer ways to get help with needed repairs. Just my 2 cents. Gail 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shinka Posted June 29, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 29, 2023 I tend to agree with Gail, but it is really sad indeed that one cannot simply trust people. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 29, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted June 29, 2023 I don't know her from Adam and would be taking on an intrusion into my sanctuary...for what? Nope... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RichS Posted June 29, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 29, 2023 1 hour ago, KayC said: I don't know her from Adam and would be taking on an intrusion into my sanctuary...for what? Nope... I agree. Not sure what's going through her mind, but I suspect it may be that she's looking out for herself; trying to find a place to "nest." Once she's there, it would be hard to get rid of her. I know Chris' uncle for 45 years; and would do anything I can to help him, but his move up her has been an adjustment for US and for HIM. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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