Members mariaw11 Posted June 24, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 24, 2023 This forum doesn’t look very active, but I’ll take anything I can get. My brother passed due to a fentanyl overdose 3 months ago. We hadn’t spoken in 3 years due to his behavior towards me during his addiction, but prior to that he was my best friend. To top it off, I adopted his dog (Arty), who I had to euthanize due to cancer last weekend. I’m only 28, and no one around me has really had to deal with these things yet. I feel so alone. I felt like I was starting to get through it, but Arty’s passing has put me in a black hole. It brought up the raw edge of my grief. I took three days off of work this week and just slept the whole time. I know I’ll get through this, but it’s hard to see how right now. I regret not making up with my brother. He caused me immense pain and stress during his addiction, but I never got the chance to know who he was afterwards. I always thought there’d be a chance to make up with him, when we were both ready. Arty was the last link I had to him, and his death really drove home the finality of death. I’ll never see either of them again, and I don’t know how to deal with it. If anyone is out there reading this, could you share your experience with grieving? I just don’t want to feel so alone. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 24, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted June 24, 2023 I don't think it out of line at all for you to take a break from his drug use, and looking where it ended, you were so right, but it's just as understandable that you miss him. I am so sorry about your loss of Arty as well...I lost my dog Arlie to cancer in August 2019, and I lost my sister Peggy in March 2022. I am so sorry, the finality hits us, I think I was in shock at least the first month after losing my closest sister. Losing Arlie was as hard hitting as losing my husband 18 years ago, my soulmate in a dog, my constant companion...I don't think we're ever ready no matter how or when it happens. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mariaw11 Posted June 24, 2023 Author Members Report Share Posted June 24, 2023 7 minutes ago, KayC said: I don't think it out of line at all for you to take a break from his drug use, and looking where it ended, you were so right, but it's just as understandable that you miss him. I am so sorry about your loss of Arty as well...I lost my dog Arlie to cancer in August 2019, and I lost my sister Peggy in March 2022. I am so sorry, the finality hits us, I think I was in shock at least the first month after losing my closest sister. Losing Arlie was as hard hitting as losing my husband 18 years ago, my soulmate in a dog, my constant companion...I don't think we're ever ready no matter how or when it happens. thank you for sharing. this was my first experience having to euthanize a pet, and nothing could’ve prepared me for it. I was initially really devastated and constantly crying after my brother died, but I thought I was feeling better after a few weeks. Now that Arty passed, I realize I was just shutting out the pain because it was so overwhelming. It’s hard to talk about with my friends because they have no idea what it’s like. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 24, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted June 24, 2023 That's the hard part about being young, I'm 70 and everyone my age has been touched by death. I was when I was young I lost my dad, my nephew, and my niece, all separately from age 14-29, but none of my friends had been touched by it. I also lost my dog when I was 20, had had him 15 years but my parents didn't let me take him when I left home, they didn't tell me they put him to sleep until afterwards, it hit me hard, I never got to say goodbye, they just did it because he was old, to me not a reason, I'd have gladly taken him in. Maybe if you found a grief support group it'd help. I had one going here, before Covid, it helps to talk with others that get it.Sibling Loss: When Grief Goes UnacknowledgedComfort for Grieving Animal Lovers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mariaw11 Posted June 24, 2023 Author Members Report Share Posted June 24, 2023 I’m so sorry for your losses. Knowing what I know now (though I won’t claim to understand the loss of a parent), you must have went through a lot. I appreciate you sharing. It sounds silly since of course others have made it through this, but it’s comforting to hear it first-hand. Your story is inspiring at a time when I feel so lost. I hope that phrasing isn’t insensitive, I feel like even though I’m going through it, I still don’t have the right words to express my sympathy. Thank you for sharing those links. I will read through them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 24, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted June 24, 2023 No it's not silly at all. Feelings are just feelings, sometimes hard to contend with, but very really. If anything I hope to portray, it's validation of your feelings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LeAnn Classen Posted June 25, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 25, 2023 My brother passed last month, alcoholism. I'm so sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now