Moderators Popular Post KayC Posted June 19, 2023 Moderators Popular Post Report Share Posted June 19, 2023 Today it's been 18 years, George, hard to believe, after the first few years it all seems much the same, but one thing is for sure, I have never lost my love for you or missing you. I could take you back in a heartbeat to finish out our lives together...I know, a pipe dream. You'd love Kodie and Panther. I've slept on our love seat ever since, it's seen better days. Still have our bed, if you were here I'd use it again. Love you, George. 3 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 19, 2023 Author Moderators Report Share Posted June 19, 2023 One day at a time. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted June 19, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2023 Kay, I am sending you love and prayers today. Well, I suppose I do that for all of us every day, but today I am sending extra special virtual hugs to wrap you in the warmth of people who care about you (and Kodie and Panther too).❤️❤️ 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Popular Post Roxeanne Posted June 19, 2023 Members Popular Post Report Share Posted June 19, 2023 Kay it's a great accomplishement you are here helping us to go through the worst time in our life! Become a better person while walking in the desert of grief and loneliness is a great bravery...that few brokenhearted can do! Thank you to be here for all of us 18 years, pointing us to the light at the end of the tunnel... Warm hugs and a tender thought to your great man George 1 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LMR Posted June 19, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2023 My heart goes out to you, thats a long time. Sending you love Kay.❤ 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DMB Posted June 19, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2023 One day at a time. Life is like that box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. Thanks for all you do for us here at this forum. I thought I was the only one sleeping on the living room furniture! 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sparky1 Posted June 19, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2023 Kay, you are an amazing inspiration to us all. Your love for George is strong as ever, God bless you and to keep you strong. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 19, 2023 Author Moderators Report Share Posted June 19, 2023 1 hour ago, DMB said: I thought I was the only one sleeping on the living room furniture! Nope, the bed was just too big an empty reminder of his absence. Kodie joins me on the loveseat part of the night. You guys are truly the only ones that get. Not a word from my family today. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RichS Posted June 19, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 19, 2023 11 hours ago, KayC said: Today it's been 18 years, George, hard to believe, after the first few years it all seems much the same, but one thing is for sure, I have never lost my love for you or missing you. I could take you back in a heartbeat to finish out our lives together...I know, a pipe dream. Kay: Our prayers are with you today. You've been an inspiration to me and many others here. A lot of us have benefited from your years of experience. If this board were a train you would definitely be the LOCOMOTIVE. You've been on this route for 18 years and can often tell us passengers what's ahead and what to expect. I've got a couple of milestones coming up (one in July, one in August) that will be hard to face. I suppose I'll survive them as many others here have survived. Please keep driving this train, Kay. We all hope to arrive at our destinations along our grieve journey; some of us sooner, some of us later............................ 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted June 20, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2023 19 hours ago, DMB said: I thought I was the only one sleeping on the living room furniture! Oh heck no! For 4+ years, I would keep something on TV in the background at night. I'd take whatever I needed to settle my mind and body (usually a low dose of xanax). Then I'd cuddle under a soft throw our best friend knitted for us and fall asleep on the sofa as I could. Most nights, I'd eventually be able to stagger upstairs and "go to bed" in our bed for a few hours. Some nights, I didn't make it upstairs at all. I tested myself many times by trying to fall asleep in our bed, but it was always so hard and often impossible. It wasn't until I adopted my Cosi that things changed. She sleeps cuddled up next to me and with her back supported by John's pillow. Her very first night in the bedroom, she sniffed at his pillow, reached out and pulled it toward her, sniffed again, kneaded, and settled down. She obviously could still scent something that my human nose can't. For whatever reason, that was a turning point for me. Now we go upstairs, maybe play a little, settle down, read or watch a little TV, and then go to sleep. I still need help with sleep, but my sleep is better than before, all because a little furry girl "claimed" me one rainy January day. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators widower2 Posted June 20, 2023 Moderators Report Share Posted June 20, 2023 4 minutes ago, foreverhis said: For 4+ years, I would keep something on TV in the background at night. My TV in the living room has been on 24/7 for years. Nothing worse than a totally quiet house! My neighbors driving by must see the TV light and think I'm a hard-core night owl lol 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted June 20, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2023 Yep. I know my friends in the neighborhood understood why the lights were often on overnight. The truth is that John and I were (and I was still) night owls. In large part, it's because we're theater/music people. It's hard to explain to non-theater people (and I've often thought that only theater people and musicians truly "get" other theater people and musicians), but after a performance, you're tired and electrified at the same time. The leftover energy doesn't just whisk away in a minute. We have to burn it off. And so we know where every late night restaurant, club, and diner is; we go dancing after having spent 3 hours on stage or in the orchestra performing; and when we get home, we're generally still a little bit wired. Once your circadian rhythm adjusts to that, it's hard to change it. Even after we stopped performing, we remained night owls. Well, until John was diagnosed and everything changed. Then after he died, I couldn't sleep most of the time, so I was up late at night again. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sar123 Posted June 20, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2023 @KayC I can see that your love for your husband is still strong after all these years. He must have been an amazing man and I can understand why you still miss him. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LMR Posted June 20, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2023 10 hours ago, DMB said: I thought I was the only one sleeping on the living room furniture! I slept on the sofa for months. Eventually it occurred to me that if I was in our bed he might be more likely to visit😞 It never happened and the bed has gone along with pretty much everything else. I now sleep in a much smaller bed. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderators KayC Posted June 20, 2023 Author Moderators Report Share Posted June 20, 2023 Thank you all for thinking of me, it was tough (again) as I never heard from family or friends, no one from church, nothing. I'd posted on FB and discovered (today) that my little sister responded buried in responses to my annoying neighbor, not directed to ME. I let it go and didn't acknowledge it, why would I? It was directed to HER not me. About Juneteenth history.. Come on, that's NOT what my post was about! Oh well, can't make people get it. It's nice to have a place where people do get it and care. Thank you for being there. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DMB Posted June 20, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2023 So, reading all this inspired me to try and go to bed. It was a glorious night's rest. I was in Philly for a show and spent Friday night at a relatives, spent Sat and Sunday at the bay so I was really, really exhausted last night. I also have a TV in there and it runs all night. Last time my daughter was down, she actually changed my sheets and stuff from winter to summer. I'll see if I can continue to go in there and sleep. Save the furniture!!! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shawnt Posted June 20, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2023 After my Mom died my Dad could not sleep in their bed. He would schlep her ashes from room to room and even have her sit at the kitchen table when he ate. After 2 years he started sleeping in their bed and we buried her ashes. She has a beautiful headstone and although he is lonely he seems to be on the other side. What that means I don't know. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members I miss you so much Posted June 20, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2023 Just a hi... What a sweet message for him. 18 years... 365 days x 18 years = 6570 one day at a time Hugs 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foreverhis Posted June 20, 2023 Members Report Share Posted June 20, 2023 6 hours ago, KayC said: It's nice to have a place where people do get it and care. Thank you for being there. Always, Kay. Always.❤️ 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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