Losing my dad at 12 years old

[ree]

It’s my first time joining any kind of support group so I’m not sure what to expect but I’d like to connect with anyone who has been dealing with losing their dad. I feel so lost. It’s been almost a decade since I’ve lost my dad. He died suddenly and without warning, even though he was perfectly healthy. Nothing could have ever prepared me for this. I was 12. I’m 22 now and most days I feel like I’m doing fine. Other days, like today, I’m not doing so good and I feel so many emotions all at once. I feel upset, hurt, angry (because I never had nearly enough time with him). I was just a kid. I miss him so much… I always say that I wish I had more time with him. He was such a wonderful father to me, always so gentle and caring. I’m not sure what else to write. It never gets easier. Sometimes you feel like you’re doing better but then it hits you that you’re never gonna be able to talk to your dad again and you feel like a kid, crying uncontrollably again. Life hit me way too fast. I feel like I deserve a million more moments with him before I lost him. I have a million more questions to ask him too. I was just a kid.

[ruth27364920]

I know exactly how you feel, the anger that you never had enough time with him is unbearable. My dad died when I was 13 after battling cancer for a long time. At the time I didn't fully understand it, I just knew he was sick. It's like your whole world shatters, and suddenly everything is split into before he died, and after he died. I feel angry that I didn't get to experience a 'normal' childhood with both parents alive, forced to deal with something like that at such a young age. It really never gets easier, you just learn to cope with it I guess. I hope this brings you some comfort to hear from someone else who lost their dad young🥹

[ree]

7 hours ago, ruth27364920 said:

I feel angry that I didn't get to experience a 'normal' childhood with both parents alive

Thank you so much for your reply. You summed up perfectly how I feel. Also this part is very true, I always felt like I didn’t have a “good childhood” or a normal one at least because of my father’s passing. Thanks again for your message, it did bring me comfort. Wishing you well.