Almost 3 AM and still up...night owls unite

[widower2]

Yeesh. This was a major issue in those early days but I still have these moments. Anyone else? I think it's because I hate going to bed alone so much. 

[KayC]

And I was up by 2:30 am! Opposite hours, but time difference.  I take it you're on the east coast whereas I'm on the west coast. I'm sure you're not alone being awake in the middle of the night, I hate when that happens!

[Brazil Man]

Sometimes I spend the whole night without sleeping. I's hard when you look at the watch and see the time passing. Sleeping is my only way of relief.

[Brazil Man]

1 hour ago, Gator M said:

Eternity gives me hope...however living another 20 or so years like this can get a person down. 

Yes, in my case I am 57 and as I don't intend to marry anymore it's a long road ahead.

[Brazil Man]

24 minutes ago, Gator M said:

So brother, 

How do we carry-on?

Brother to tell you the truth I don't know. But at least we have a Hope and it's this Hope that keep me going on, one day a time until my time comes.

[Brazil Man]

48 minutes ago, Gator M said:

You're in Brazil, I don't know what life is like there but our culture in the USA is collapsing. 

Yes I saw what Trump did to your country by refusing to let the presidence  to his sucessor. An attack to democracy; our former president Bolsonaro did the same and there was conflict on the streets until finally the new president assumed.

 

48 minutes ago, Gator M said:

I wish us both peace, patience, and comfort...BUT we both know, the only easy day was yesterday.  
The same for you, brother.

 

 

 

 

[widower2]

Please folks, no politics. Back to the sleep thing...

Late-night TV is brutal for those of us without cable (though with cable probably not much better). Fortunately I have some DVDs and videos on my PC which helps and have ended up sleeping on the couch more than once (good thing it's a comfortable couch!).

[Brazil Man]

5 minutes ago, widower2 said:

Please folks, no politics. Back to the sleep thing...

I am sorry my friend.

[widower2]

No big!

[RichS]

12 hours ago, widower2 said:

Yeesh. This was a major issue in those early days but I still have these moments. Anyone else?

I usually wake up most nights between 2:00-4:00 AM. After going to the bathroom, I'm usually too awake to fall asleep. Several years ago I used to stay up for the night. These days I go onto my laptop computer, surf my favorite websites (this being one of them) until I get tired (about 60-90 minutes later) then go back to sleep.

I guess the hamsters are running around in their cages inside my subconcious mind. As I've said, "Who knows why the mind works like this?"

 

[LMR]

I only sleep about 4 hours on a good night. Often I will lie awake all night. I've been getting allergies lately so I've been taking anti histamines. I make sure to get the one that says it may make you drowsy! At least then I can get off to sleep even if I wake in 2 hours time. I don't want to get dependent but I was exhausted.

I tried taking B6, its supposed to make you dream more! Not much success yet but it would be nice.......

[widower2]

Sorry for all you others with this issue (I guess most of us have to one degree or other). My problem with dreams is they are almost always nightmares, never happy, so I'd just as soon not have them. I had a corker just the other night...my beloved of all people was seething mad at me and in a totally illogical way, accusing me of things that weren't true and storming off, just bitterly fiercely ranting...which was doubly weird because she was totally not like that at all, she was so easy-going and forgiving, almost to a fault. I think the nightmares are one of the big reasons I have ever since dreaded bedtime and go to bed so late.

[Shinka]

Have you guys ever tried Ashwaghanda? It's an Ayurvedic herb, a root, comes in capsules or powder. It really helps me. Not 100% of the time but offen enough. I used to be a terrible insomniac, all my life, so I'm so glad. 

Widower, I don't think that's your wife speaking, it's just unresolved issues of remorse and selfblame expressing themselves in your dreams. If you don't mind me playing Dr. Freud for a bit here. 

 

[widower2]

Of course it's not her; nor likely it is anything else. I think dreams are mostly just random mental/emotional static. 

[KayC]

I must sleep hard because rarely remember mine unless woken in the middle of one.  I did have that one horrid one the other night, never got back to sleep, still remember it, it was awful.  Sometimes they pick up on our fears, inclinations but carry them to an extreme and the trouble with them is they get all muddled.  Unlike one that maybe reveals something pleasant to you and can be positive.

[shawnt]

My sleep pattern is off. When She was sick I had to be up every 2 hours for various injections or hydration or .... All the other stuff. I used to lie down , be asleep in 5 and then wake 4 hours later barely wake up and pee and then sleep another 4. Now I am awake every 90 minutes unless I take pills, I hate late night tv and I hate our empty bed and I have no idea how to break this pattern.

[Maria_PI]

Reading this in the morning after a fairly good night sleep, I am sorry you guys are still having these issues... I had them early on in my grief, I now realize I had them all the time while caring for my late husband but at the time I was preoccupied and never paused for a second to think about myself so just went on with the help of melatonin or ibuprofen PM. Now that the nights are still even more lonely and there is nothing and nobody but myself (my soulmate cat also passed away), the rational self that I am, I started reading up and listening to podcasts about how the human brain works and how to maintain mental health. So every time I would wake up at 2-2:30 am I would do this breathing exercise - inhale quickly then exhale slowly and hold your breath after the exhale for a few seconds. Andrew Huberman explains is in this podcast about sleep (episode #2 I think), look him up on YouTube, he has a ton of very useful self help and self improvement videos. @Shinka YES! I discovered Ashwagandha about a year ago (also thanks to Andrew Huberman) and have been having it on almost daily basis since then, with amazing results. It's an adaptogen so it won't put you to sleep but will regulate your stress hormones so you can process daily life in a healthy way. Looks like it may not work for everyone but I have yet to hear about negative effects so it's worth a try.

All this said, it's not that I am not missing my Barry with all my heart and body, his things are all around me, I listen to his music every day and read his messages to tears. But if I am left behind on this Earth to live another few decades (I am 57), I better take care of myself so I may be able to help someone else in the process. That's my philosophy.

Thank you ALL for being here, this site has helped me tremendously and I appreciate you! Peace and Hugs!

[RichS]

3 hours ago, KayC said:

Sometimes they pick up on our fears, inclinations but carry them to an extreme and the trouble with them is they get all muddled.

That is a true statement. Sometimes I get unpleasant dreams about things that happened when I was a kid. Unresolved issues, I guess. I read years ago that as you age, you tend not to remember your dreams so much. I also notice that I tend to wake up right after a dream. Who knows the stuff that's buried in your subconsious?

[shawnt]

I use that breathing technique during the day when I am highly stressed and I know it works. I am going to try it in the night when I wake. Thanks.

[KayC]

10 hours ago, Shinka said:

Ashwaghanda

https://www.webmd.com/vitamins/ai/ingredientmono-953/ashwagandha

[Gail 8588]

I am also a night owl.  I rarely go to bed before 1am and often its more like 3am, occasionally 5 or 6, but then there is hardly any point in going to bed.   

I need to develop a routine to take my night meds by 11pm as there are some in that group that are to help me sleep.  Sort of defeats the purpose if I don't take them until 5am.

I haven't been on here lately very much because I finally caught Covid for the first time.  So I've just spent my nights coughing for the last week. I didn't have a bad case of Covid, but still had fever and chills, achy, congestion and cough.  Just enough to have a bit of a pity party, wishing my sweetie was here to take care of me.  

For me that is one of the hard parts of living alone, and knowing I'll be living alone for a decade or so.  When it was John and I facing old age together we had a mutual aid pact that we could both rely on.  Now when I am sick, I feel somewhat abandoned and very vulnerable.  

One foot in front of the other, one day at a time, we plod along.  I always keep a few cans of Progresso Chicken soup in my pantry, to get me through hard times. 

Gail

 

[Gail 8588]

It's 3am.  I suppose I should call it a night.🙂 

[LMR]

Welcome back Gail. I hope you are feeling much better. It's tough being sick when alone. I had a bug a few days back and felt very sorry for myself. It all becomes more debilitating than usual.

I used to sleep ok but not any more. In the early days what kept me going (apart from this site) was watching NCIS. I know that sounds mad but the main character is grieving the loss of his wife and daughter many years since. He still can't sleep in their bed and spends his nights on the sofa. There were many tiny moments in the show that resonated with me. It was on several channels so I could usually find an episode to watch. It didn't matter how many times I'd seen it. Some I must have seen 6 times over. The storyline never really sunk in, just those moments. Nothing between 3 and 5 am though so I would go to bed at 3, might occasionally sleep until 6am. Then start over.  Routine was good. It allowed me not to think.

[KayC]

4 hours ago, Gail 8588 said:

Now when I am sick, I feel somewhat abandoned and very vulnerable. 

Gail, I am so sorry you've been sick with Covid, I had it last July/August.  It lasted a little over a week but the worst was the weekend, Fri-Sun, and the cough went on for a bit.  Never did find out how I got it as I hadn't been anywhere and no one at church had come down with it, but I figure someone there was a carrier.  Iris got it at the same time but they were in another state.

I hope you can catch some sleep.