Smokey

[Gerald B]

So we had to put down are 12 year old bichon Shih tzu 6 days ago, and i can not get over the hurt that is so deep in my heart, and guilt. My smokey had diabetes, pancreatitis and was almost totally blind. He had diabetes for over 14 months, but got pancreatitis. In December 2022. I miss him so much I cry and cry and hurt like I never did before. So my smokey has a sibling brother and he is always looking for him to lick his face and play, and it hurts me to see him depressed, so has anyone had two dogs that were sibling and did they get over it and did they live long after that. I feel for everyone that has lost a pet and hope your doing well. These dogs are my first and will be my last because I am older with heart problems and would hate to leave one behind. My wife and son are doing better than me because i was with my dogs smokey and snuggles 90% of the time and they slept with me every night until about 2 month ago as if they new this was going to happen. Smokey started to decline in about 3 days, he tried so hard to eat go potty outside. His last day he refused all his favorite treats and foods and just looked at me with those big dark eyes and said I can't go on. So I was not going to make him suffer anymore just for me to have him around one last say, so we put him down. I have so much guilt because when we put him down my wife held him and son and I was the one who did everything for my boys, but i didn't want to see the hurt that I seen that night before when i slept with him telling him that I was so so sorry and it's not fair.  So I know I am  going through this just like others are and want the hurt to go away but never not one day to go by and forget my boys. Still waiting for his ashes witch  I hope will bring me some peace. My other dog snuggles is eating and drinking and plays with me in the evening after eating, but what hurts me is after that and through out the day he goes and lays down in the spots were my smokey laid, and looks out the window in the bathroom, bedrooms to see if he is there. I can't imagine what he is thinking and that hurts me so bad, because he love to tease his brother by taking toys away from him and save his treats for later , chase him up the stairs. So I could go on for ever, but I am going to write a letter to him about all the things we did together and his brother. So take care everyone we are not alone and not crazy that we care so much for our pets. PS. does anyone make there own dog food because both of my boys started to hate there hills science diet, so started making my own chicken boiled hamburger ,veggies, rice,  some pasta and pumpkin food and they picked around the hills. Thank you if you have read this. 

[Traz]

Hi Gerald,

I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved Smokey. You are definitely not alone in your absolute love for your pets. They are members of your family and their loss leaves a big hole in your life. 

My sister had to put her 15 year old Shih tzu down a few weeks ago. He lost the use in his back legs and was in extreme pain. His brother, another Shiz tzu named Bernie, has felt the loss too. He is getting better but is clingy to my sister. It takes time for them too, so make sure Snuggles has some extra loving at this time and you can help each other in your grief. 

I also have two dogs who are 10 years old. One is a Shih tzu/Maltese cross and the other a mini Schnauzer.  I am dreading 'that' day too.  Like you, these are my last dogs as well. I'm 57 but husband and I are retired and will probably downsize at some point. Luckily, I love all animals and will most likely have cats. I've had both throughout my life and although you don't get the same behaviour from cats, they are still loving (lol, depending on the cat) and bring lots of joy. 

I am convinced that we will see all our fur babies again one day. My soul dog was Shadow, lost him when he was 11 very suddenly. That was in 2013. I still miss him every single day, but the pain has lessened.

I'm sorry, I don't know about a raw food diet for dogs. There's probably some good info online or you could talk to your vet about it. You sound like a loving and wonderful pet dad! Smokey was blessed to have you too. 

Take care of you, 

Traz

 

[KayC]

I am so sorry for your loss, I know it go be great.  My heart goes out to you!

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died nearly 18 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

Grieving Pet

[Gerald B]

Thank you Traz and kayC, I wish I could give you both the biggest hugs in the world, this helps so much that other people care. My other dog ate twice today and played at the time he always does and went outside further than he has, so he has had a decent day and that made mine easier. Thank you again, and I feel your pain of your losses.

[KayC]

You are so welcome! And I'm glad your other dog is getting along...my friend recently lost her husband. Her Husky grieved, sitting under his desk for days.  My dog is her playdate and would go down there and try to engage her and if she didn't want to play, he understood and would just hang out. But he kept trying and eventually she came around. Now they're separated as he had two surgeries 12 days ago, she waits by the gate for him. It's heartbreaking. In two days he gets his stitches out and I'm hoping will soon be ready to play with her again.  Needs the vet's okay first.