In loving memory of my best friend, Bao

[EricaOr]

I adopted Bao, my little tuxedo cat, at the beginning of the pandemic. He was a few months old at the time, and we quickly became inseparable. We had daily cuddle sessions, and I truly felt such a deep connection to him. He was my first pet, and he was a family member and best friend to me. My whole world revolved around him, and I would do anything to make him happy. Bao loved playing, going on leashed walks, snuggling, and watching Youtube videos of mice. He was always by my side and I loved it. I loved when he would come up to me and start sniffing my face and purring, he truly showed me a love that I have never known before. He was extremely vocal, and had a very unique and hilarious squeaky meow. I will never forget it. He turned 3 years old just this April.

I went on a trip last week and I was so excited to return and see my little buddy. I spent a few hours playing and cuddling with him before he started whining to go hang out in his outdoor enclosure. He loved rolling around in the dirt and watching little critters from his enclosure. I thought he was safe and secure in there, and I was always close by listening and checking on him. I went outside and he was gone, at the time I thought he ran away somehow and I proceeded to look for him until the sun came up the next day. That morning I realized there was animal fur in my backyard, so I thought maybe he had somehow gotten out and chased a rabbit or some other creature. To my horror I then saw some of Bao's fur, and I have been in deep agony since that moment. It was my job to protect him, I thought I was doing everything to keep him safe. I didn't hear anything, and there was barely any evidence of the coyote attack besides a few tufts of his fur. The grief and guilt I am feeling is immeasurable. I feel like I am in a living nightmare. My home feels so empty without him, I keep thinking I hear his little high pitched meow. I don't think people understand how deep my bond was to him, and I feel like I am expected to move on easily. I know eventually I will be able to look outside and not imagine the moment of his death. I know one day I will be able to think of the good memories and look at his pictures without sobbing. But for now I am just trying to get through the days. Please send love, and I am sending love to everyone grieving their beloved babies

[KayC]

No matter how or when they go, it is so hard.  I lost my beloved soulmate in a dog 8/16/19 and my 25 1/2 year old cat just 4 1/2 months later, it was the hardest thing in the world. My son brought me a Klee Kai conceived when Arlie died and born on my birthday.  I didn't think I'd ever get another cat but I adopted a feral cat A year ago April.  I don't know what I'd do without them, but I still miss Arlie and Kitty, they are buried next to each other in my back yard.

ou can rest assured your kitty is at peace now...

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died nearly 18 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

[catawampus]

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Erica. It's such a tragedy whenever we lose our fur babies, most especially when it's something as heartbreaking as you described. Guilt is unavoidable no matter how we lose them, whether by accident or illness, and is often the first place we go to during our grief.  But please try not to blame yourself.  As any one of us would have, you assumed your precious kitty would be safe in his enclosure.  You couldn't have known.

I know all too well the suffering, the guilt, the tears, and the blame. Those who find their way here often have closer bonds to their fur babies than to the people in their lives. The loss and sadness you're experiencing is very relatable. It does get easier even if at the moment it feels like you might never truly heal. Allow yourself to grieve as much as you need. 

Be well,
Biscuit's Dad

[Christinenokla]

Erica, I know the pain you are feeling. On Thursday morning this week, my Russian Blue named Jerry, I found dead and mauled in our yard. I screamed at the top of my lungs and cried hysterically. Hyperventilating and throwing up. I've had this cat 7 yrs and he was the most affectionate,  loving fur baby of the 6 we have. We live in a community with 19 lakes and our house is one that overlooks the largest lake. It's beautiful scenery and our Jerry loved his home here. He like the others never wanted to come inside much once it got nice out. Too many things to see and do outside. It's where he was truly happy. Never once did we see a coyote here or have any issues with other animals attacking our fur babies.  All I know is he must have put up quite the fight. He was left a mess . I can't get it out of my head the horrible scene. It was tragic.  I know he fought for his life. Everything about it makes me sick. I keep playing it over and over again in my head. Why didn't I make him come in that evening? After 7 yrs of him loving the outdoors in the summer, not once did anything like this happen. I don't understand and I can't quit crying. I'm usually a lot stronger than this but this one has taken me down. Jerry was the one I could pick up any time I wanted and hold him like a baby. He loved running to me when I got home. Would always jump on our laps and love on us nightly. He loved to give love. For him to be taken in such a brutal way is nothing short of a tragedy. I pray he didn't feel a thing. I even held him for several hours after I found him. Bloodiness and all   Didn't want to let go. Now here I am left to care for 5 others that need my strength and love but I'm having the worst time trying find the strength to carry on.  I love sitting outside where we live and watching our babies enjoy nature, but now I can't walk out here without crying. This morning a ball of his fur blew up to my foot. I grabbed it and clenched it to my chest and couldn't stop the tears. Goodness, when will I ever accept this? So, I know what you're feeling Erica. I don't wish it upon anyone. It is a blessing to find this forum. I think God pointed me to this to help me cope. I hope you too, Erica can find the strength through this forum as well. 

[KayC]

OMG, how horrible! I can't imagine anything worse.  You may want to consider pet grief counseling with someone who can help you with those images...
EMDR
Psychology Tools, CBT, EMDR
Brainspotting and EMDR

http://www.griefhealing.com/comfort-grieving-animal-lovers.htm

 

[Christinenokla]

Thank you.

[EricaOr]

Thank you everyone for the support. It means a lot.

Christine, my heart is hurting for you. Thank you for replying, I feel less alone in my pain. I am also incredibly sorry that you are also feeling this pain. It is a horrible way for our babies to go. I also can't stop imagining it and the only thing bringing me comfort is knowing after doing a lot of research that the death is quick. I'm holding you in my heart, and please consider finding a pet loss support group because that is what I ended up doing. Sending you all love.

[Christinenokla]

Thank you so much Erica.  This is the response I needed. Your compassion means a lot to me at this very moment.  You have no idea. I will take your advice and join a support group. ❤️

[EricaOr]

❤️

[AJWCat]

Oh no my heart breaks for you.   I wish you peace - that is a very tough loss. And @Christinenokla you both. 

I lost my cat very suddenly and horribly - not from an attack, but I know the trauma of such an awful loss. 

[Christinenokla]

Thank you for your kind words. I don't know how to cope.  It's been 4 days and I'm not getting better. I don't want to eat. Just cry and sleep.  Not sure what I should do. I'm struggling with this and have 5 other felines that need my love . So in fear of losing them now.  

[KayC]

Keep going, for them if not for yourself.  I know this is hard, I think I've lost 27+ cats & dogs, I don't know any way to do this but other than muck your way through this. Surround yourself with people that get it and won't say stupid things to you.  Keep posting.  And cry, it's okay.  (((hugs)))

[Christinenokla]

I really appreciate the kindness. I keep looking to this post for comfort . At least people on here understand.  I think had my Jerry passed from an illness I would be devastated but would handle better. What I found was devastating.  Can't handle knowing he was attacked like that and suffered and I wasn't there to comfort him. I have a horrible sense of guilt . That's the hardest part. I loved him so much and hope he knew that 

[EricaOr]

@ChristinenoklaI really understand the guilt you are feeling. Just remember that it has not even been a week, allow yourself to feel your feelings, it is all a normal part of grief. All I can say is that the more you talk about it and get support, and the more time passes, the more you will be able to remember the happy memories and not only the last moments of his life. It took me over a week and a lot of support and I am slowly coming out of that feeling of being stuck and ruminating on the guilt. Please try to drink water and nourish your body, as hard as it is. You need to care for yourself to allow for healing. 

You wanted the best life for him, and you would never have done anything to hurt him. Hindsight may be 20/20, but we could not have known what we know now. We can do everything in our power to protect our babies and still horrible things can happen. Our brains are trying to regain a sense of control by blaming ourselves and recounting the horrible details, because grief feels easier to direct when someone is to blame.  

I can tell Jerry knew you loved him, just like my Bao knew I loved him. The pain you and I are experiencing shows how deep our capacity is for love, and animals can feel that. 

I doubt any of my words are helping, but these are some of the things that have comforted me and I hope they may bring you some comfort. 

[Christinenokla]

Your words are helping.  I have friends and family that are supportive but none of them have experienced what you and I have, so yes, your words I am connecting with on a different level.  I know you get where I'm coming from. I'll probably keep going back and reading what you said and absorbing it, so thank you for reaching out.

[KayC]

21 hours ago, Christinenokla said:

I have a horrible sense of guilt .

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died nearly 18 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
Breaking the Power of Guilt
A Dangerous Villain: Guilt
http://www.pet-loss.net/guilt.shtml
http://www.griefhealing.com/article-loss-and-the-burden-of-guilt.htm
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2019/08/pet-loss-when-guilt-overshadows-grief.html
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2017/07/pet-loss-when-guilt-goes-unresolved.html

 

[KayC]

It's very much like I felt when I lost my Arlie and the vet botched his euthanasia and he went out in the more horrific pain! Did he think I brought him there for them to do THAT to him?! I hope and pray to God not. The image is awful to carry, I love him more than anything, I painted rocks for his grave, which I look down upon every day here. It's been nearly four years now...

I have to tell myself what a sweet relationship we had and dogs aren't like that, they love and forgive us and trust us.  He has long since been in peace, it was only that last bit of time he had here on earth...

[Christinenokla]

I appreciate you sharing. All these posts are very helpful to read. I am so sorry about your husband and your Arlie. I know we all have tragedies in our lives we must deal with but sometimes the pain seems so unbearable and we feel as though we won't be able to get through the next situation until we have coped and accepted what has happened already. At least that is how I feel anyway.  Right now, for me it is helpful to read these posts. I don't feel so alone with my feelings. I see now that all of you have experienced situations too that were painful to deal with as well.  Everyday is a healing process. I'm starting to see that. I just want to get over the "what ifs" and the "if I had only done this ." It is the guilt that is eating me and the great love I have lost with my Jerry. It's comforting to read these posts and understand that others are reaching out to help me cope. I hope in time I will be of some support and help to others .

[KayC]

Keep working at it day by day.  I lost my husband 18 years ago June 19 on Father's Day, if a double whammy reminder isn't enough, now they've name it a holiday and call our attention to it by calling it Juneteenth!  Geez, like I needed that, not like I can forget.

The hospital threw me out and locked the door to the ward behind me...I was praying when he died.  Four doctors came to find me, they didn't have to say a word. Of course, I felt guilt that I couldn't be there with him when he died, the sweetest man that ever lived, we were only married 3 years 4 months to the day.

Eventually you get through it, although it's never easy.  When I lost my soulmate in a dog, Arlie, it felt much like losing George all over again, not because it was a reminder, but because I really did love him that much.  We lived alone together for 10 1/2 years, it's not easy to get through.  My heart truly does go out to you, no part of this is "easy."

[Christinenokla]

Im sorry you had to experience all that. Very difficult to navigate yourself  through  You would think the "experiences " of death would maybe prepare us for the next but not sure that's the case.  I lost my dad right before Covid hit. I was devastated and cried for days, but I also knew for several weeks what was coming. He had congestive heart and the signs were there the last couple years of his life. You'd never know how sick he was because he lived on the go and the way he wanted to right up until the last few weeks. This, with Jerry was unexpected and quite devastating though. Making it even harder to process and understand.  I finally had a day today where I didn't cry continuously at every thought of him . Instead, I looked at photos and even got up the strength to order a grave marker.  I hope that's a sign that I'm on the path to healing and acceptance . I can't control what happened to him. I really keep looking for a sign he is happy and at peace now. Just need to know that  

[KayC]

And I hope you get that.

After Death Communication

see link below article

[Elizabeth W]

I, too, am glad to have found this forum as I search the internet for any kind of solace or empathy as I just lost my belovéd cat, Jasper, who I'd only adopted in November, discovered his fur and intestines through the fence at the neighbors after he got out of my tiny studio apartment in the woods in South Lake Tahoe early Friday morning.  I knew something wasn't right when he didn't return and wasn't in his usual spots. He had been with me all night; I didn't know I'd left the front door that struggles to close all the way in a position that allowed him to open it and go out. My neighbor heard the whole kerfuffle and thought it was Jasper attacking a large rat or mouse and winning. He was my whole world, my everything, my person to come home to. I've struggled to get out of bed, do anything, or care about anything else in my life. I too can't imagine the horrible cruel end and I don't understand why he had to be taken so early (year and 1/2) after surviving such a long, brutal winter here with so much snow, many moves as we tried to find our place here. I had just been looking forward to how much better everything would be for him, for us. I Googled "people who have lost their cats to coyotes" and somehow this forum came up. I never used to have anything against coyotes; didn't realize how brutal & calculating they could be towards our domesticated pets. Of course I'm struggling with guilt, really feel I need a therapist to talk to or a shaman to tell me "why."  Nothing will bring my purring kitty back who snuggled with me every night and who was the purest, sweetest soul I'd ever encountered in my life. It's hard for me to be in my tiny studio; everything is a reminder of him. Reaching out in fellow commiseration and sympathy to all of you who have lost your belovéds recently. Jasper was a new kitty after I also lost another tabby I'd rescued in an uncanny manner in New York after being allergic to cats, etc. I thought I'd never love again and then rescued Jasper. I just don't understand the 'whys' and maybe we never do. I feel so alone thought I know I have to just try to get through every day. I keep hoping for a sign from him.

[Lynn Martinez]

I understand your pain, I had a similar situation before so now I have a blog about pet diseases called pet hopefully no one will but that sad thing you can check it out

[KayC]

I am so sorry for your loss, Elizabeth, it's the hardest thing in the world.  I was a family of four and lost my Miss Mocha (cat) in 2016 likely a cougar, she never ran off and I'd seen her in front of my forest, was outside all day, never heard anything...they are stealth, getting them from behind and grabbing them and making off, she likely would have been in shock. Still I had neighbor check their garages, put up flyers, nothing...never heard anything more, searched the wood, found no remains. In 2019 I lost my Arlie, cancer, he was my soulmate in a dog, goofy, made up games, being Husky/Golden Retriever, he had a very evolved tonal language, was very communicative, my gentle giant.  4 1/2 months later I lost 25 1/2 year old Kitty, I thought she'd live forever, she was amazing...now "we" were down to just one, me.  

It feels shattering when your world dwindles like that, my heart goes out to you.  

You can rest assured your kitty is at peace now...

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died nearly 18 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

[EricaOr]

I'm sending everyone so much love. It's so incredibly painful and I still miss him every day. My home is so lonely without him. I just wish I was able to protect him.

[KelleyG]

I am very thankful to find this forum and send my love and condolences to all of you here who have endured this loss and unbearable pain. It is helpful to share experiences with others who have gone through something similar.

 

I also recently lost a beloved cat, my 15 year old tuxedo cat Teddy, to a horrific attack by a coyote on June 11th. I've lived in my house for 30+ years and have never seen a coyote or heard of a coyote attack in my neighborhood, it's not an area you would associate with coyotes roaming around and feels like such a random event. I feel like the world is becoming such an unsafe place in every respect, with crime and mass shootings becoming a daily occurrence. This experience makes me want to curl up in bed and never leave the house again. I couldn't even protect my sweet boy in our own yard.

 

This came as such an unexpected shock, and the grief over finding him dead in such a violent manner has shaken me to my core. I am trying to remember the 15 years I was blessed to have with Teddy, but all I can focus on right now is the horrible ending to his otherwise happy life and that I should have been able to protect him. The grief and guilt I am feeling is crippling right now.

 

I am grateful for the support of this forum and appreciate others sharing their experiences. I hope that all of us will eventually find some solace and peace.

[KayC]

I am so sorry for your loss, I went through similar loss of my cat Miss Mocha seven years ago, never found her remains, likely a cougar.

My heart goes out to you, it is horrible and so hard to live through. Someone else posted something similar today.

You can rest assure your kitty is at peace now.

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

 

 

[KelleyG]

Thank you KayC. I am sorry for the losses you have suffered as well. I really admire that you are able to reach out to others and support them on this site as a moderator. I've been reading many of the posts on this site besides pet loss and am trying to learn from others about how to cope with loss. I've lost many loved pets and people in my 60+ years and it never gets any easier. If anything, it's getting harder.

 

Your kindness and compassion are very much appreciated.

[KayC]

I think it does get harder, it has for me (I'm 70), perhaps because our lives have dwindled to us and them, THEY are our lives now!  I dreamed last night I lost Kodie, I couldn't bear it if that happened.  

When Arlie passed, I tried rescues, it was harder than I remember, their lack of communication and honesty for one thing, well my son called and found a Klee Kai (Arlie had been 140 lbs, this one's parents were 20 lbs each) wanted to know if I wanted him, he sent me photos and a video and the name Kodie popped into my head, have never had that happen before and didn't know breeders named their pups. When Paul got here hours later, he threw down the tag and papers...and the name read Kodie. He'd typed Kobie into the machine but mistyped in his struggling with his four year old daughter and the wriggly pup and everyone wanting to see him.  I looked on the paperwork, this little pup was conceived when Arlie died, and born on my birthday!  It was meant to be.

[KelleyG]

What a sweet story about how Kodie came into your life. I do believe that our past pets lend a paw in selecting our new pets to fill our hearts. I've always been a Crazy Cat Lady, but I do love dogs. I have considered fostering before I adopt. I still have 2 sweet kitties in my life, they are pushing 14 years of age, so I won't bring another cat or dog into my home for awhile. These sweeties need my love and attention and I don't think they would adapt to having another pet in my home right now, especially a (gasp) dog!

[KayC]

My poor Kitty, when I got Kodie, she was 25 1/2 years old but she'd always lived through everything and adjusted to the changes, so I figured she'd continue to...that was on 12/10, well everything pretty much shut down over the holidays but I got her into the vet 1/6...she was euthanized, her kidneys and liver had shut down, I was suspecting kidney issue but had no idea about her liver.  So hard after all this time.  That was 3 1/2 years ago, I still miss her begging Easy Cheese when I was on the phone.

[Elizabeth W]

On 7/4/2023 at 2:40 AM, KayC said:

I am so sorry for your loss, Elizabeth, it's the hardest thing in the world.  I was a family of four and lost my Miss Mocha (cat) in 2016 likely a cougar, she never ran off and I'd seen her in front of my forest, was outside all day, never heard anything...they are stealth, getting them from behind and grabbing them and making off, she likely would have been in shock. Still I had neighbor check their garages, put up flyers, nothing...never heard anything more, searched the wood, found no remains. In 2019 I lost my Arlie, cancer, he was my soulmate in a dog, goofy, made up games, being Husky/Golden Retriever, he had a very evolved tonal language, was very communicative, my gentle giant.  4 1/2 months later I lost 25 1/2 year old Kitty, I thought she'd live forever, she was amazing...now "we" were down to just one, me.  

It feels shattering when your world dwindles like that, my heart goes out to you.  

You can rest assured your kitty is at peace now...

The what ifs blame game happens to most of us going through early grief, it did me when my husband died nearly 18 years ago...it's not that we are guilty of anything but loving them, and the truth is feelings are not facts, but it's that we can't wrap our heads around what happened, and our mind is trying to find some different possible outcome so it searches all the what ifs...

Comfort for Grieving Animal Lovers

I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.

 

Thank you so much for your kind, empathetic, comforting words-- all of you!  New to this forum so just figuring out how to respond properly.

 

 

 

[Elizabeth W]

On 7/4/2023 at 2:43 PM, KelleyG said:

I am very thankful to find this forum and send my love and condolences to all of you here who have endured this loss and unbearable pain. It is helpful to share experiences with others who have gone through something similar.

 

I also recently lost a beloved cat, my 15 year old tuxedo cat Teddy, to a horrific attack by a coyote on June 11th. I've lived in my house for 30+ years and have never seen a coyote or heard of a coyote attack in my neighborhood, it's not an area you would associate with coyotes roaming around and feels like such a random event. I feel like the world is becoming such an unsafe place in every respect, with crime and mass shootings becoming a daily occurrence. This experience makes me want to curl up in bed and never leave the house again. I couldn't even protect my sweet boy in our own yard.

 

This came as such an unexpected shock, and the grief over finding him dead in such a violent manner has shaken me to my core. I am trying to remember the 15 years I was blessed to have with Teddy, but all I can focus on right now is the horrible ending to his otherwise happy life and that I should have been able to protect him. The grief and guilt I am feeling is crippling right now.

 

I am grateful for the support of this forum and appreciate others sharing their experiences. I hope that all of us will eventually find some solace and peace.

Oh gosh how horrible.  I'm so glad you had so many good years with Teddy. I had only a few months with my Jasper & am seeking answers to why such a short time other than just not keeping him inside all the time in a tiny studio (his escape was accidental) which also felt cruel.  I don't want to demonize coyotes but I feel so differently about them now. I've also felt afraid of just anything as well, and not wanting to leave my home or get out of bed for hours and days on end.  Somehow I continue.  Thank you for sharing your experience and I'm soooo sorry for your recent similar loss.  It is something to at least have fellow grievers. I hope you feel Teddy's spirit with you in unexpected ways.  I pray for feeling Jasper with me and not angry with me somehow soon.

[Elizabeth W]

On 7/6/2023 at 3:09 AM, KayC said:

My poor Kitty, when I got Kodie, she was 25 1/2 years old but she'd always lived through everything and adjusted to the changes, so I figured she'd continue to...that was on 12/10, well everything pretty much shut down over the holidays but I got her into the vet 1/6...she was euthanized, her kidneys and liver had shut down, I was suspecting kidney issue but had no idea about her liver.  So hard after all this time.  That was 3 1/2 years ago, I still miss her begging Easy Cheese when I was on the phone.

Aww Kay C wow what a long lifetime with a kitty. 25 1/2 years! You musta been doing many things right. It's hard to have to euthanize, I know full well. I heard a sound the other morning on way to work and literally stayed home thinking in some miraculous way my cat would come trotting back up to my front porch, alive and well although all fact said otherwise and I'd seen his intestines on the grass. They leave an indelible mark in our souls and this is so new still. His food dish is still in my sink, waiting to be cleaned.... Sending love and comfort. I don't know what begging Easy Cheese on the phone means but it sounds very sweet and cute.

[KayC]

I met her when she was 10, acquired her when she was 12, I thought she was old then!  I never dreamed she'd be with me all those years later, I love and miss her but am glad she's out of her suffering.

A friend introduced it to her, a can of it, spray cheese, you wouldn't think it good for them but evidently it didn't hurt her! I bought it just for her, kept it in the cupboard, she'd sit on the step stool and paw and the cupboard and yowl real loud...I couldn't hear my phone conversation so would give her some to shut her up!  Of course this just reinforced it.

I haven't bought Easy Cheese since.

[Elizabeth W]

8 minutes ago, KayC said:

I met her when she was 10, acquired her when she was 12, I thought she was old then!  I never dreamed she'd be with me all those years later, I love and miss her but am glad she's out of her suffering.

A friend introduced it to her, a can of it, spray cheese, you wouldn't think it good for them but evidently it didn't hurt her! I bought it just for her, kept it in the cupboard, she'd sit on the step stool and paw and the cupboard and yowl real loud...I couldn't hear my phone conversation so would give her some to shut her up!  Of course this just reinforced it.

I haven't bought Easy Cheese since.

aww soooo cute. yeah there's a comfort when they're out of their suffering, but still you must miss her immensely. Jasper was very vocal esp when I was on the phone; always communicated with me. He was kinda fostered with dogs prior so I kept trying to convince him he wasn't a dog and that it wasn't as cool to "bark" for his food.  He did like butter and a few interesting treats here and there.  I'd just bought him lots of new toys, catnip, snacks, and an actual catnip plant.  Still nothing compared to him being able to catch actual mice both who tried to come through my apt but also outside! He got too brave.  The coyotes took advantage.  But they grab toddlers, puppies, even if humans have backs turned. I just didn't know. Poor little Jasper! ❤️ IF anyone is psychic or does readings here I'd love to hear if he has any comforting words for me - but he's probably busy playing in heaven rn  with other kitties - hopefully!

 

[KayC]

I wrote memories of Kitty and Arlie's lives as well as what I went through at the end...it might help you to try something like that.  I wanted their legacies remembered.

 

 

[KelleyG]

Elizabeth, I am so very sorry that your time with Jasper was short. It seems it's "never long enough" regardless of how long our pets are in our lives.

KayC, your suggestion about journaling is a good one. Many books about pet loss and grief recommend this. A really good book that has brought me some comfort is "Soul Comfort for Cat Lovers: Coping wisdom for heart and soul after the loss of a beloved feline" by Liz Eastwood. I first read it 2 years ago when we had to euthanize Teddy's brother - he had intestinal lymphoma (horrible). I'm getting ready to read it again as I cope with my new grief over losing Teddy.