Any other single, childless only children coming to terms with the fact that you have no "next of kin"?

[ChapterNow]

Hello, everyone.

I recently lost my mother, who was a widow, and it didn't really dawn on me until earlier today that I have no next of kin outside of cousins now because I'm single and childless. And coming to terms with that has brought up lots of emotions.

That said, I hope each day is getting a little easier for us all. 

[Valerie Lockhart]

Dear ChapterNow,

I'm sorry for your loss. I can relate to your situation. I lost both my mother, father, and grandparents. I'm single and never had any children of my own. I adopted two boys in 2021. Up until then, I felt like an orphan. I have a brother, but he's a drug addict. I don't associate with him much because of it. He's now moved to another state to go into treatment. My nieces and nephews only call, when they need something. To overcome loneliness, I volunteer at Read to A Child. I'm also a licensed foster care provider. Many persons cherish some solitude so they can reflect and meditate. However, all persons have a basic need to communicate their feelings to another who will indicate an interest. When this desire to share the intimate concerns of one’s heart is frustrated, loneliness is the result. However, staying busy simply for the sake of staying busy can be like a narcotic. It does not confront the real cause of the loneliness, but covers it over or dodges it. Nevertheless, some have found that keeping themselves busy doing things for others with an unselfish motive does ward off loneliness. It can help create the kind of relationships that lonely people lack.  Even if human friends fail at times, I've found that I can still have Jehovah God as my Friend. Be assured that he does care for you. Keep your confidence in him strong, and continually seek refuge in his protective care. (Psalm 27:10; 91:1, 2; Proverbs 3:5, 6)

[ChapterNow]

Thanks for the kind words and suggestions, Valerie. This is without a doubt the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with, so I'm all over the place, emotionally. 

[littlegiraffie]

I have these thoughts too. My father died 6 days ago. He was my only parent for 21 years after my mother died, so I'm an orphan now, at 36. And I was their only child.

He always wanted grandkids so badly, while I was thinking that I will probably be childfree, because I never liked kids, they irritated me, and I didn't see any future for them in our fucked up world, especially seeing it from a miserable poor third-world mafia state. Plus I have some health problems that can potentially make me disabled or even kill me during pregnancy.

But his sudden death changed everything. I started thinking "What will be left of him here on this earth after I pass away?". He used to repeat when talking about his business and property "This will be your inheritance" and it sounded like something very important for him - to leave something valuable after himself and pass it on. 

So, now I started feeling this circle of life and how important it would be for him that I carry his legacy into the future, both physically and financially. And probably I will feel it even more in my 60s. So I'm thinking that I should have a baby now, hopefully it's not too late now. And even if it's late, adoption is always an option too.

[ChapterNow]

Sorrry about your loss, littlegiraffie.

I was like you when I was your age and younger - didn't want kids. Now that I'm in my 50s and understand just how fleeting life can be, I've been thinking about adoption quite a bit lately. However, I don't want to adopt due to the sense of loneliness I feel now because I think that would be a selfish and shallow reason to adopt. Plus, I know I'm not emotionally equipped to handle being a parent at this point. I'm still trying to process losing three loved ones, including my mother, back to back. 

Maybe I'll be in a better place, emotionally, before I get too old. You're still relatively young, so you've got a lot more time to sort things out and adopt, if you decide to adopt. 

Best of luck to you either way.