Is this for real?!

[Mamasdarlin]

I still can't believe my mama is gone. She passed away (10) days ago and approx 45 minutes after being extubated. Mama had COPD and this exacerbation was too much for her lungs to bear. While in ICU on the ventilator she contracted other lung infections and was not able to be weaned from the ventilator to breathe on her own. Mama "came to" on 04/22/12 and was able to answer yes/no questions with her eyes. We asked her (3) different times if she wanted us to remove the life support and let her go home (to heaven) and she responded with a "yes" each time. Just (3) weeks earlier, mom was living life at home (though fatigued) but without oxygen and had just turned 77 years old. I can't believe she went down hill so fast while in the hospital. We knew nothing about having a DNI (Do not intubate) order, so when mom's oxygen level was so low that the bipap or nothing else was working they intubated her. I wonder if that is what "killed" her. She was so anxious (obvious by the breaths per minute and heart rate). They had to keep her sedated most of the time. I wonder could we have done something different to help her. I miss my mama and love her so much! She would always say I love you too darlin.

[Daffodilfun]

The what ifs and should haves are very normal. You will never know if you did enough, but you did what you could do and I am sure that was enough. Dying is a very hard and scary thing. Your mom seemed to want to go to heaven. Your respected her wishes and that is what matters the most.You will have days that the what ifs and should haves will haunt you but it does lesson with time. Please remember that you are not alone. Stay writing. We do care. Blessings.

Sally

[Mamasdarlin]

Thank you for your reply Sally. COPD is such an individual disease and unpredictable. How can I find and talk to others who have lost a loved one to COPD? I'm new and still trying to find my way around on this site.