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So much on my Mind!


Bradcopia

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Gonna try and make this Short. i have alot of things that are bothering me, well when i was 16 yrs old my dad died in his sleep waking up to my mom screaming bloody murder was scary and seeing my dad on the floor just scared me..when we got to the hospital and the doctor had told us he was gone i could not even cry i was just so Numb. and this was back in 2006 im now 22 yrs old....so now its just me and my mom, im trying to help her out the best i can..but i worry about her alot she is in debt and will have to work until she physically cant do it anymore shes 62 yrs old working at publix and when the day comes when she cant work she wont be able to live off only her SS..i already lost one parent and every day i worry about her not waking up even though im helping her out the best i can i dont feel its enough. wish i could just win the lottery or have some kind of miracle happen i dont know what to do...recently i moved back home from GA after staying with my sister, she was trying to help me be independent she was trying the hole tough love thing and expected me to be on my own in less than a year..when i dont make enough money hourly even though the hours were decent and find a room mate that i trust in a town were i dont know anybody well enough to trust getting an apartment with..even though i appreciate the help she did offered it was 3 months wasted, and now i have less than 1K to my name and its expensive to live in South Fl i doubt ill be able to make it on my own, ill probably be living with my mom till she dies...i just really hate my live right now i feel like i have the weight of the world on my shoulder's and no one to turn to, i dont think things will ever work out the way id like them to..theres so much more thats bothering me but i think ill end it here...and i know its not the answer but i cant stop thinking about suicide, when my mom goes i would like to go with her.

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Brad,

Do you ever talk to your mother about your fears? Do you ever talk to anyone about them? Worrying over the remaining parent is natural and normal. When I lost my Dad, my biggest fear was that my Mom would go right way. I've learned to let that go and move forward. Certainly, if you are unable to move past that fear, you may want to talk to a professional so she/he can help you sort through and process your anxiety and fear.

You also need to talk to someone about your suicidal thoughts. It is horrible and awful to get through a loss of someone. But in time, we do begin to move forward and put things into perspective. Death is a part of the process of life, and while it hurts those of us left behind, if one is spiritual, then one believes that life after death for those who reach that level is also good. (Does that make sense?)

We can be here for you as you learn to process your emotions. Let me ask you one more thing--do you get out and have fun with your friends? Girlfriend? Do you have hobbies or do anything for yourself? Does your mother? Perhaps you both should join a grief and loss group.

ModKonnie

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Yea i talk to my mom about my fears all the time, she says one day at a time like i tell her when she is stressed out, but in reality it just seems like nothing is going our way and there is just one problem after another. I had talked to two different psychologist when i was like 17 or 18 i dont recall but i didnt feel it helped at the time and stopped going and just dealt with my problems/thoughts on my own. when i was living in GA with my sister i went to hospice for help, but when we had our conflict it forced me back down to FL in my moms house.i had only seen the person at hospice twice. i would like to go see a professional but i dont have money to pay for session's, but im gonna try and find a hospice down here. even though i could talk to someone and they coould help me with my worries/fear.. it doesnt change the fact that we are in financial trouble and i worry about that just as much as everything else. seeing my mom stressed out stresses me out, its like all her problems are my problem. like i said before i wish i knew what to do. i know over time we begin to move forward, but its been 6 yrs and i feel ike i havnt moved at all. im not spiritual, everyone i know who is talks so highly of god but even though i do respect peoples believe's . if god is really there what has he done to help me? i do hope there is a heaven and that my dad is in a good place and that mom will be. even though my dad is gone i do tell my self that will meet again one day....yea i get out when i can wether is be by myself or with a friend, go to a movie,the mall etc..but most of the time i go to work and come home (rinse and repeat).i mean i know alot people and they are my friends but i havnt seen most of them since high school.i only hang out with a small hand full of people and most of them are from work all my other friends even though were friends on facebook dont really talk..some people have friends who call them alot to go do stuff i dont.. so im home most of the time, on the computer, watching tv, or videogames to keep me entertained which is getting old.

Brad,

Do you ever talk to your mother about your fears? Do you ever talk to anyone about them? Worrying over the remaining parent is natural and normal. When I lost my Dad, my biggest fear was that my Mom would go right way. I've learned to let that go and move forward. Certainly, if you are unable to move past that fear, you may want to talk to a professional so she/he can help you sort through and process your anxiety and fear.

You also need to talk to someone about your suicidal thoughts. It is horrible and awful to get through a loss of someone. But in time, we do begin to move forward and put things into perspective. Death is a part of the process of life, and while it hurts those of us left behind, if one is spiritual, then one believes that life after death for those who reach that level is also good. (Does that make sense?)

We can be here for you as you learn to process your emotions. Let me ask you one more thing--do you get out and have fun with your friends? Girlfriend? Do you have hobbies or do anything for yourself? Does your mother? Perhaps you both should join a grief and loss group.

ModKonnie

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