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My Angel


lyndsey

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I've never experienced grief before. I've lost loved ones in the past, my grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins, and with each of these loved ones I felt sad but I never knew sadness like that I feel over the loss of my son. I was so blessed and looking forward to his birth but because of one simple spider bite my world changed in an instant and at 24 weeks I held my son. I never heard him cry or look at me. He quietly came into my world and left and with him a part of me died. He was a beautiful little boy with dark downy hair. We named him "Hachanee" the word for Rain.  I thought that was the most devasting thing to ever happen to me but four days later, after his death, my boyfriend, his father, dumped me. It wasn't a "I can't deal with this grief and pain" kind of departure but a "see you later...take care" kind of departure. Two months later he was with another woman.

It's been 6 months since my world was turned upside down and there are days when i feel that I can't make it but by the grace of something I wake up to a new morning.

Does the pain ever go away is what I'd like to know?

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I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful child.   As you read the post within this site you will find we all experience a softening of the pain eventually.  This however has no specific timeframe....each of us heal at various levels. 

The hard thing is that for each loss,  each subsequent  magnifies the pain 3 fold.  I can only ponder why.  Perhaps the heart and soul are wounded unable to heal.

Come often, speak of your losses and know here is a place where you are understood and supported......Take care, Trudi

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Lyndsey,

So sorry for your loss. My heart aches for you. Be gentle with yourself in these days and lean on those who will hold your hand. Many of the moms on this site have so much to offer. We will listen and respond and hold your hand as you travel this journey of grief. It's been almost three months since I lost my precious Caitlin. I cry hard. I wail. I write. I read these posts. I say "yes" 'when a friend suggests we go to lunch. I even lunch with acquaintances and will talk to strangers about her if they ask. I listen to songs that help me express my sorrow. I hang onto the hope that some day it will lessen and it has. It's still hard and I have a long way to go, so please be gentle with yourself.

Thinking of your precious Hachanee.

Peace,

Caitsmom

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