Members chananga Posted March 30, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 30, 2012 4 months ago I received a phone call that changed my life. My sister, who was 23, was dead. I had just texted her a few hours earlier telling her that a friend had surprised me with tickets to a Christmas concert and we were getting ready to leave. 30 minutes before she died, she posted on Facebook that she was going to have dinner with a friend and watch a movie. The thing is, I am the fixer of my family. If my siblings had a problem, I was the one that they came to and I fixed it. This was and is something that I couldn't fix. My mom is a travel nurse and I had to make the phone call to her and tell her that we needed her to come home and that her daughter was dead and I had to call my dad and tell him that he his little girl was gone. I had to write my sisters obituary, which is probably one of the hardest things I have EVER had to do. This brings me to where I am now. I have gone to counseling and I know that grief takes time but I can't seem to fully cope. In the past 4 months I have had to deal with the "1st's". Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years and her birthday. All I can think is how it is not fair. I protected my sister her entire life and the one time that she truly needed me, I wasn't there. I couldn't even tell her goodbye and that I loved her. Now I am afraid that people will forget her. 23 years is not a long time on this earth. I don't know how to respond when people ask me if I have any brothers or sisters, people are visibly uncomfortable when anything is said about it, etc. I have been told that there is not a rule book on how to grieve but it is so hard to grieve when society says you have 2-4 weeks to learn how to cope and return to normal.I feel completely overwhelmed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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