Suicide Survivors- He left his infant kids.

[lx2beard]

Hello. I'm new to this site. I've never come across it until now but I would like to express myself and see if anyone else out there feels days that are miserable and full of disdain?

Does anyone ever wonder why out of all the people in the world you had to be given this road to ride. I don't understand the life hurdles God puts before us. In my case I find it to be particulary unfair and I'm angry. My fiance left us on July 13, 2010. He left a 5 month old son and a 2 year old daughter. If anyone else has kids- do you feel as angry that he or she left them? I struggle weekly, if not daily with knowing that my daughter will never have a father-daughter dance, he won't be there for the first day of school, when they graduate high school, to walk our daughter down the asile in marriage, show up at ballet recitals or teach our son sports and watch hockey with him or work on cars togther. There are things that a mom just cannot replace in a father and I am terrified that my kids are going to notice and miss out on a full life. Everything hurts in me times two because I feel like I'm carrying the pain they are too young to understand.

I've read tons and tons of posts and articles and books, as well as attending grief sessions for grieving but the pain doesn't go away. Any suggestions or thoughts would be appreciated.

Hope all is well. Best Wishes.

[ModKonnie]

Hi,

I am so sorry about your loss and your children's loss. I can see how your anger and pain would be extremely difficult to deal with. So, you've tried a grief group and it didn't help? Have you tried journaling or just writing it all out, like you did in this post?

Have you tried writing a letter to him and tell him how you feel? While that may sound crazy, sometimes it helps.

No matter what, we will be here to listen to you talk about your experience and how you feel.

ModKonnie