new me

[debbie8800]

its 4 months since mom died, somedays im ok others im not. Today i was thinking I really don't care anymore about my degree it really doesn't matter. then i said, yes it does it has to matter. I find myself losing sight of my mother and that

scares me and makes me feel empty. sometimes she pops in my head, I've been in my hometown where i grew up for a while now and its good and bad, but most of these memories are when mom was younger working and i was in high school and college but all the hillls etc, reminds me of San Fran. I remember so many places mom and i went together.

Truthfully I sstill feel lost, i attribute this to being an only child and having no one to help me keep her memory alive. I look at her picture and cry and think she is really gone, what do i do now, which way do i turn? Im not sure.

I have put my name into the housing authority because im tired of sharing with people even though i am ok right now.. I miss moms things and her loving presence. I just saw a video about Chris Medina who was getting married and his girlfriend had a tragic car accident that let her brain injured, I had trouble watching it because i would think of my mom and how much i loved her while she battled parkinsons for 15 years.

There is very little warmth and no one that can take her place. Sociologists and psychologists say we all need to be connected to someone and if your not it can be very bad... I have been diagnosed with heart insufficiency, its not real serious but its serious enough.

[Daffodilfun]

I go through the emotions you are going through. It is tough. Really tough. Being sick without your mom has to be hard. I know that my mom was my rock. Keep the memories alive. Share your memories here. I personally would love to hear them.