Members mrsduc Posted March 10, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2012 So many things have been happening inside not only my brain but around me in the last couple of days, that I am beginning to wonder if Robert might be trying to communicate with me in his only way possible. From the moment I found out that my son was dead and I went to CA to clean out his apartment, I had been trying to find his therapist number so that I could let him know what had happened. But I was not able to find it. And I believe that is because at the time, I really wanted to find it to tell him off. I felt he had failed my son by going on a two week vacation. My son had giving me his therapist number in August and had wanted me to leave some information on his machine about his past and how I felt about him myself. We had never spoken. But for the life of me I could not find that number at home. I kept thinking that I had thrown it away out of respect for my son's privacy. But yesterday I found it and it had been right under my nose next to my bed the whole time. Well I called the therapist answering machine and told him I was Robert's mom and asked him to call me. Well he did call and he was shocked when I told him about my son. He also kept telling me that not one therapy session Robert did not stop talking about me and how much he loved me and how much I meant to him. It may sound stupid to some, but it felt so good to some degree to hear it from his therapist. I knew that we were a very special mother and son and I knew I thought so much more but it just reinformed to me that Robert really loved me and I know that he did not mean to hurt me in any way. It has given me some peace alittle. It has not though stopped the emptiness and broken heart and the loneliness without my son in my life. I just feel like Robert might be trying to let me know that he loves me. I have prayed and begged for a sign from Robert that he is alright. But maybe I will not get it the way that I want. But it is nice to know that I meant as much to him as he did to me, considering all that he and I had indured over his life. He was such a wonderful light to a gray day. I hope that God has him in his arms and he is being loved even more than I love him. Because he deserves only the best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vivkib Posted March 10, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2012 I'm so glad to hear the hope in you right now. It is hard and always will be but we do move forward. My daughter and I were just talking last night about the "good" that has come from Kevin's passing. As hard as it is to believe, we have found some blessings in it all. We never would have choosen this path to those blessing but if we are honest with ourselves, they never would have happened any other way. I do believe you got a sign from Robert and as you said it may not be the one you were hoping for but he knew what you needed. Keep an open mind to his love and you may very well see more and more. He loved you and still does. Remember, love never dies. Vivian-Kevin's Mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Maddy6 Posted March 11, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2012 Linda,I am so very happy for the conversation you had with Robert's therapist and to find out how much Robert truly loved you. How wonderful and comforting to hear how Robert treasured you. You sound so very peaceful today and that is wonderful :-)Love,Maddy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lorijosherrell Posted March 11, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2012 Look for ur rainbow, it may have came before sometime.when u where thinking of Robert but just didn't notice, open ur mind the signs are all around us Laura Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members tobyfreefoot Posted March 11, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2012 i am so glad you had this experience. i also have an unusually close bond with my adult son. i wanted to get signs from him too but didn't feel like i was. then his professor told me he talked about me all the time. my daughter and some girl i don't know contacted me to tell me about dreams where he said to tell me he loved me. i'm sure your son is communicating to you. though my son was killed in an accident i needed to hear it so badly. in your situation knowing that your son loved you so may help you know that he needed to be relieved of overwhelming pain otherwise he never would have left you. maybe you can hang on to his freedom from pain to help you through the worst moments. i don't know but i hope so and hope we both continue to get some signs of their love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members davincidanes Posted March 11, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2012 That is just wonderful, Linda. I am so glad to know that speaking to his therapist has reinforced his love for you. ~Linda (Sean's Mom) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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