Members josiesdaughter Posted March 10, 2012 Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2012 Like so many on this forum, I lost my Mom. She was 73, had a heart attack and died in under 24 hours from going to the ER. Everyone had gone home to rest, thinking she was stable, but I was still uncomfortable about her situation and stayed with her to let my family take a break and get rest. I finally sat in the recliner in her room at 3 a.m. and went to sleep for 10 minutes when she stopped breathing. They could never get a steady pulse back after CPR and electric shock. Tomorrow it will be one month since she passed away. A week after she died my 19 year old son ended up in the ER with his first anxiety attack. After a second trip to the ER, he is now trying to find the right medicines and is in counseling. This was his first really close person to die in his life and he has been really having a hard time, which resulted in anxiety issues.Three weeks later (last weekend) my Dad started passing blood and had a very low blood pressure, so they took him to the ER. After the long weekend of monitoring him and losing enough blood to have to have a transfusion, they found out he had an ulcer. This was also attributed to stress. Thankfully it is treatable and he is home and doing well, besides the grief, of course.With all of the things going on in our lives since my Mom died, the natural progression of grief has been disrupted. I keep thinking it will get better but every time I think about her it seems to hurt worse than the time before. So this weekend, I will have more time to focus on the loss. I knew it would hurt to lose a parent, but I was not prepared on how badly it actually does. Everything seems to remind me of her. I still think I'm in a state of shock and am afraid of what it will be like when I come out of it. I am a Christian and have a strong faith, but this is the most pain I have faced and even with my faith I am struggling right now. I take steps forward and then I spiral quickly backwards. My Mom is who I called when I was sick, happy, sad, and needed advice. She was my number one fan, and no one will be able to fill the void. My husband adores me and is amazing, but how can I go on without my Mom? I feel like I have a Neon Sign that says, "I've Lost My Mom. Why is the world not stopping?"Just writing this helps but at the same time it is making me hurt a bit more. So I'm going to stop for now. Thanks for listening and I am grateful for a place like this to share thoughts with others going through the same thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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