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My Thoughts For Today - Maddy


Maddy6

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Maddy, You do have a gift for words. It is a hard choise, to live and enjoy our life or to give into the hurt and pain of it. I also am just finding bits to enjoy again, but I am starting. Thank you again for your true and thought provoking words. Hugs and prayers. Vivian-Kevin's Mom

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davincidanes

Maddy, that is a magnifcent posting and so inspiring. I too, enjoyed each day before the sadness happened, but I did also hold that fear. The one that says I will out-live one of my children.

From the time that it was very clear to me that my son's addictions were so serious......that they caused him so much trouble, I knew a sad truth. A "premonition" buried deep inside of me that this was

not going to turn out good. And it certainly didn't. I worried that he would cause a car accident possibly taking someone with him, get severly beat up from someone he pissed off, or take his life in a very messy way.

None of those things happened and I am so grateful for that, but it doesn't make his loss any easier to bear. One day I will be strong enough to make the choice that you so bravely have. ... It's too soon for me,

the pain still too raw, but the day will come, I'm sure of it, that I will be able to look toward life with joy and happiness once again. Bless your heart, Maddy... you may be my new inspiration in this journey.

~Linda

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Linda,

You are amazing and so strong Linda. At the beginning of this journey I was a mess and stayed that way for a very long time. It is only now I choose to move forward.

Maddy :-)

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Maddy ~ You are so profound in your thoughts and so capable in putting them into words. To accept death is part of life isn't a stretch for me. For me I guess the 'unfairness' is that children die. I did work from that head in the sand principle, not my children. Even with a younger son whose addiction saw him taken to the brink more than once.

Like you I believed up until Jan 07 I had fought the good fight with life. I took on each 'knock' and faced it head on. I pulled myself up and got on with life no matter what it threw at me. I had confidence that to work from the principle 'first do no harm' then treat those around you as you would want to be treated would keep me in good stead.

I really believed in living. Being present in the life. The total devestation of who I was left me reeling. In the beginning I fought to find my 'old life'. I did so losing sight of much that was still here.

Now its another day. I have learnt that if I look back pinning for my 'old life' I will miss some of the magic that still exists...I just need to open my heart that little bit more. Hard to do, but with those here I am managing...... B)

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Dear Maddy,

This was so well said, so heartfelt and so incredibly true. In spite of everything we have lost, we STILL have people and moments in this life that remind us of God's incredible love for us.

I always had that nagging little fear in the back of my mind that worried about losing one of my children. Every parent has them, even if they won't admit it. My best friend's loss of her little boy brought it closer to home for me, but I always figured I had a "deal" with God. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I was almost relieved! This must be proof that my "deal" wasn't just one sided! So, imagine my surprise... I asked Him, over and over, WHY did You DO this?

Chrissy's sweet voice keeps asking me, just as she did when she was here, "WHAT does He want you to learn?", "what is He trying to tell you?" I always fancied myself a believer, but my relationship with Christ has gotten so much stronger since He took Chrissy home, my joy in my other children and my grandbabies has gotten so much greater, and the knowledge and joy of what waits for us all is more sure than ever.

No one wants to hear that the sin that brought death and loss into this life were of our own choosing; still others won't believe that this life isn't all there is. But some things are true whether we like them or not. There will always be those truths that transcend everything we think we know- God loves our children more than we do, he loves US more than anyone ever will, and all of us belong to Him more than we will ever belong to each other. Such hope feeds us in the desert.

Much love to you, dear friend.

Robyn

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