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I lost my little sister


goldylocks

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I recently lost my 20 year old younger sister to a tragic death.

How do you go on living when youjust can't anymore? How do you deal with the horrible guilt you feel? What ifyou didn't get a chance to make up? How do get up in the morning when you knowyou could have helped prevent such a horrible loss? What do you do when whatmeant everything to you was just 'another unfortunate' victim in this crazyworld? What do you when you find out her suffering was unbearable? What do youdo when its so unfair? What do you do when everything has gone all wrong andthere is nothing you can do to fix it? What do you do when it just hurts toomuch? How can I ever stop missing her? How do you answer thequestions why?

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Hi Goldylocks,

I am so sorry you lost your baby sister. My daughter Cherry Lynn died of a heroin overdose last October. She has 3 sisters and a brother that she left behind. One of her sisters is older and is devastated by her baby sister's death. Grief is a relentless torment to have to endure. It is a journey that starts when our lives are irreparably changed forever, and we take small steps in sorrow. I am new to this journey like you are, but have been told that it gets softer and that we will be able to build new lives that are different than before.

I have not been able to get past severe depression and sorrow. I cry everyday and miss my daughter so much. I know how hard it must be for you to carry on. It seems impossible. It feels too hard. The only advice I can give is to take one minute at a time. If you want to talk, send me a message. I am usually on the "Loss of a child" thread. I just happened to be unable to sleep and read your post here.

You are in my prayers.

((HUGS)).

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thank you....

Hi Goldylocks,

I am so sorry you lost your baby sister. My daughter Cherry Lynn died of a heroin overdose last October. She has 3 sisters and a brother that she left behind. One of her sisters is older and is devastated by her baby sister's death. Grief is a relentless torment to have to endure. It is a journey that starts when our lives are irreparably changed forever, and we take small steps in sorrow. I am new to this journey like you are, but have been told that it gets softer and that we will be able to build new lives that are different than before.

I have not been able to get past severe depression and sorrow. I cry everyday and miss my daughter so much. I know how hard it must be for you to carry on. It seems impossible. It feels too hard. The only advice I can give is to take one minute at a time. If you want to talk, send me a message. I am usually on the "Loss of a child" thread. I just happened to be unable to sleep and read your post here.

You are in my prayers.

((HUGS)).

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Thank you Ronnie, I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter. I'm trying to figure out if I can send you a private msg.

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The worst thing about my little sisters death is that it was my fault. i could have prevented it, I was supposed to be there for her, take care of her as the part of me that she is, i failed and now shes gone forever, its too late to say sorry, its too late to right the wrongs. i would have given my life for her i still dont understand why i didnt. She died because i failed her, i cant live with that, no one can help me cus no one can undo the wrongs i did and replace it with the right i didnt do, no one can bring her back. i am empty without her, i cant live without her, and i cant live with the fact that its my fault, the horrible person i am.

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rubydreamer

Hi Goldilocks,

I am so horribly sorry about your baby sister ;_; I also lost my baby sister 5 months ago. She was 17, just barely turning 18. I also feel responsible for her death, and I realize that although there are so many ways I could have helped her avoid the accident, in the end I cannot change what happened. I am not sure how you are responsible for your sister's death... but even if your actions or inactions were directly related, I really sincerely want to urge you to realize that you did NOT kill her. Accidents happen, and to put that kind of heavy blame on yourself makes it so horribly difficult to move forward. You cannot change what happened. Your loss is immense... I COMPLETELY, 110% understand how impossible it seems to live on without your little sidekick by your side. I'm having trouble figuring out how I am going to cope and live on. My father, brother, sister and I had just lost our mother in the summer of 2010 to cancer. My sister was my way of coping with my mother's death. We were so close... as close as sisters could possibly be. Now the only light that I had in the world after mom's death has been stripped away from me.

But I know that she would not blame me for her death, even though I do blame myself. She would lecture me about it if she could. I never allowed her to feel responsible for things beyond her control. I always encouraged her to accept things that have happened and to forget about all the what-ifs... they do no one any good. I supported her with my entire being, to make sure that she was uplifted and understood her value. I feel that with all of the protecting I have ever done for her, now is the time for her to protect me.

Would your sister blame you for her death? Honestly? Think of this as if you could have a conversation with her about how she died. Would she look at you and say it was all your fault? Or would she tell you that it was an accident? If she were upset about anything I'm certain it would be that you are so upset and she can't be here to tell you to stop blaming yourself.

I say this without really knowing the story of her death, but I get the feeling that you are not as solely responsible as you think. it is so very normal for us to blame ourselves if we can see where we could have done something different in the moment. But we didn't do those things. And we can't go back in time. What's done is done. Now is the time to mourn, to grieve, to process... and then slowly rebuild our lives and pursue our own happiness, because we know it will make our sisters happy to see us happy.

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Hi goldylocks,

I'm so sorry for what you're going through - my heart goes out to you, and I feel like this is one of those times when there aren't the right words to ease the pain. Everyone here has been so encouraging, and hopefully you don't feel all alone. I know you're struggling with a lot of guilt, and just having someone tell you not to blame yourself won't make it instantly go away. I do know it does help to share how you're feeling and hope you'll continue to reach out to others. Do you have anyone you can talk to in person? I know from my time working with Focus on the Family that there are counselors who will talk to you over the phone for free. They're very kind and understanding and really want to help. Just some thoughts... Be gentle on yourself - praying for you...

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