Talk with Robert

[mrsduc]

Way baby did you leave me when we just found each other again and were trying and were pludging ahead to the future. You had so much to do still, more people to help and who could help you. I know you were tired, but now I am tired and heartbroken without you. I do not know how to be nice to people and events anymore. I laugh at dumb things and smile when people smile at me, but I am crying inside without you. I carried you for nine months and I talked to you everyday. I was so excited when I first saw you. I laid you on the hospital bed between my legs, so you would not get hurt, and just kept staring at you with so much love and amazement that God could allow me to be presented with such a beautiful perfect little boy. I know that you were called back to be with God and even though I question why (and I know I am not suppose to), I guess he needed you're loving corkiness and kind heart and your creativity for something he was doing in Heaven. Maybe he decided that you were to entertain everyone in Heaven or just him. That you had your own stage now and you are with the best audience that cheers you on all the time. I do not know. But as I have said so many times I only want you to be at peace and no pain or heartache anymore. I want only love and peace and kindness in your new journey. You deserve that. I am just sorry for myself that I have to be without you.You had a very rare gifted, in that you could walk into a room and command the attention, and have no idea that you had done that. You could light up a dark day with yout smile and laugh/ Oh and your sense of humor was the best. You loved with all your might. You would help anybody that was hurting and try and make them feel better by giving them pretty good advice. But you could not seem to love yourself, or listen to the advice you gave others and do for yourself. I will learn in time, because I have no choice to keep going on without you. But life will never be the same for me or this world without you. I love you my son, Robert.