New sensation

[LMR]

After 32 months you'd think there's nothing new. I still cry almost every day. I have to get out of bed as soon as I wake in order to preempt my brain from going "there". This morning when I woke, instead of feeling sad and on the verge of tears I felt physically sick. Really really nauseous. It is not illness, it was definitely connected to thinking about him.

I just had to tell somebody because I felt so weird.

[KayC]

I am so sorry.  I know this is horribly stressful and hard, and yes we can get physical manifestations from this.
You're not alone.

Physical Grief Symptoms Whats your Grief
Physical Reactions to Loss (see articles listed at end of this)
Physical manifestations of Grief and Cortisol's effects

[Sparky1]

4 hours ago, LMR said:

After 32 months you'd think there's nothing new. I still cry almost every day. I have to get out of bed as soon as I wake in order to preempt my brain from going "there". This morning when I woke, instead of feeling sad and on the verge of tears I felt physically sick. Really really nauseous. It is not illness, it was definitely connected to thinking about him.

I just had to tell somebody because I felt so weird.

30 months for me and I still cry every day, mind you some days very little and some days are flood gates. My memories both comfort me and torment me at the same time. Thinking of the joy of being with her and doing things, to going to her not being here and doing not much of anything. I try to find joy in little things but the joy is short lived, what I need is her physical presence, to hold, hug and kiss. All I can say LMR, is that I understand.

[LMR]

Thank you all. It's nice just to know someone is listening.

1 hour ago, Sparky1 said:

My memories both comfort me and torment me at the same time. 

Memories are strange. Why is it we remember every stupid little thing we ever did? I want to look at his photos but at the same time it hurts so much when I do.

[RichS]

On 4/16/2023 at 5:29 AM, LMR said:

I just had to tell somebody because I felt so weird.

If you feel that way then join the rest of us "WEIRDOS" who are always on this board to comfort you when you get days like this..........................

[widower2]

On 4/16/2023 at 10:51 AM, LMR said:

Thank you all. It's nice just to know someone is listening.

Memories are strange. Why is it we remember every stupid little thing we ever did? I want to look at his photos but at the same time it hurts so much when I do.

I couldn't look at photos for at least a year or two afterwards.

Bottom line: do what works for you. To hell with what anyone else says or you've read/heard you're "supposed" to do. 

[William M]

On 4/16/2023 at 9:39 AM, Sparky1 said:

30 months for me and I still cry every day, mind you some days very little and some days are flood gates. My memories both comfort me and torment me at the same time. Thinking of the joy of being with her and doing things, to going to her not being here and doing not much of anything. I try to find joy in little things but the joy is short lived, what I need is her physical presence, to hold, hug and kiss. All I can say LMR, is that I understand.

Yes! Everything you wrote.

No one but us that have experienced this first hand really understands these things like us here.