My son, my friend.

[John Stewart]

Greeting. New member here and I thought I would share my child loss story:

On 5/6/2016, I had just suited up in my police uniform and was backing out of my driveway, heading out to my duty shift. My cell phone rang. It was my son's GF's Dad. He told me there was an accident and his daughter was just air-lifted to the hospital and they didn't know where my son was. My heart dropped. I just knew.  I didn't make it to my shift

I parked and started my phone search for my son.  First, I tried my son's cell Phone.... straight to voicemail... not good. The Hospital.... nothing.  Then the Highway Patrol.... nothing.  For hours, I could not get any information. My wife was hysterical in the other room, surfing the local news websites in the area the accident was reported to be, Facebook, etc. I heard the blood curdling scream. She found it.  She found a news report with photos of a mangled, but recognizable truck, smashed between two Semi-Trucks. Now she new. Not exactly the best way to find out about the passing of your 18yo firstborn son. Four hours later, I got a call from the county coroner confirming what she found.

The traffic on the highway was stopped due to an obstruction. For some reason I still don't understand, the highway patrol was never able to confirm, but we believe the driver of the double trailer FEDEX truck behind him failed to stop due to being distracted in some way.  He failed to stop, colliding with my son's truck at about 55 MPH, pushing him into the stopped Semi-truck in front of him, killing him instantly.  His girlfriend survived and has recovered mostly, with some limitations.

In the end, the driver spent only 4 months in jail for manslaughter...... 4 effing months!  He was out in time to spend time with his family on Christmas!

I did not handle his loss very well and it caused me to retire early, after 24 years. It has been a long road and I am hoping this forum will help me in that journey as I continue to drive on.

-John

[MistyN]

Hi John, thank you so much for sharing your story. I lost my son who was only 13yrs old who was special need- to hospital negligence. We can't even sue the hospital because it was during covid and they're heavily protected or immune(at least that's what all the lawyers told us). He was our only child and the best thing in our life. I'm either angry or depressed. It has been a very ROUGH journey to say the least, especially when you feel like the people that cost your son's life gets to live out their life. And 4 months is such a slap in the face. There are so much injustices I just can't wrap my head around it. It's been a little over a year for me and I haven't been doing well..

Your son's death anniversary is coming up, it'll be almost 7yrs right? How are you guys holding up?

Ya'll will be in my prayers. Take care.

[Changed]

Dear John,   My heart goes out to you and your  family.   My own adult son ,David, died the same year as your boy.   It is so hard and sad to carry on without them isn’t it ? 
My name is Roz - I post on ‘Loss of an adult child’ with other parents who have lost their adult child - we would like you to join us there - you may find our understanding helpful - we are a mixed bag but  all care about each other.

It’s a long haul this grieving lark - I wish you well as you drive on.     Roz x 

[Jacqueline3]

Dear John,  I am so sorry to hear of your loss.   I lost my 22 year old son.  it will be two years in August on my birthday.   My name is Jackie and I post on loss of an adult child with Roz.  It is a dark, horrific road we must now walk.  I miss my  Garrett every second of every day.  He's my youngest and my best friend.  My girls have moved out and married and he and I did everything together.   Join us as well on the second site.  We are an eclectic group but try to help each other walk this ugly road.

Dear Misty,

I am so sorry to hear of your loss and the negligence of the hospitals.   I have that burden to carry with my own wonderful son.   My heart bleeds for your loss and pain.  You are welcome to join us on the second site as we all walk this road together. 

Jackie