A friend posted this on my facebook a few days ago...

[Christiane]

It looks like a page out of a book, but it pretty much sums up my feelings...

[LMR]

I wonder who wrote it. Lewis perhaps?

It pretty much sums up my feelings too. It sounds depressing just to read but it still isn't as bad as the reality.

[Gail 8588]

I wonder if the following is true:

For people who have not experienced a great loss, that passage sounds terribly pessimistic and depressing.

For people who have experienced great loss, that passage sounds true. 

 

The passage from that book strikes me as simply true. 

Gail

[DWS]

That's from Megan Devine's "It's Okay That You're Not Okay"....first page of the first chapter.

[Christiane]

Thank you DWS. Now I can get the book.💖

[DWS]

It's a terrific book for us to have and read. Definitely a companion for our grief. 

[KayC]

It's a favorite, highly recommend.

[KayC]

13 hours ago, Gator M said:

 

I am not saying we won't learn to function but...for me it will never be the same.

Our lives are never the same as it was before.  But yes, we can learn to function, it's just different.

[foreverhis]

This is the essence of it, IMO:

"Some things cannot be fixed. They can only be carried."

It brings to mind Nora McInerny's TED Talks.  I'll post the links as I've done a few times in the past, but this is the quote that hits me every time:

"...You understand that what you're experiencing is not a moment in time, it's not a bone that will reset, but that you've been touched by something chronic, something incurable.  It's not fatal, but sometimes grief feels like it could be. ... What can we do, other than try to remind one another that some things can't be fixed and not all wounds are meant to heal?"

Warning about her talks.  She was a young widow, early 30s, and has remarried.  These talks are 3-4 years past her first husband's death and some of her presentation includes what I think of as sardonic, humanistic humor.  Anyone who feels unready for that to be mixed in with everything else should give these a pass (for now).  I find it refreshing and reassuring that she has been so deeply touched by loss and grief (three deep losses in the span of 2 months), but has been able to bring a fullness to how she thinks and speaks about it.  It took me nearly 4 years to get to a similar place, though I have no interest in finding a new love.

Nora McInerny TED Talk Moving Forward, not Moving On

Nora McInerny TED Talk Better than Fine

Don't let the title of the second one fool you.  Her reference is to the casual small talk of being asked "How are you?" when someone doesn't really want to know.

[shawnt]

That's from " It's ok your not ok". The book helped me a little. I must warn you though that I cried a lot reading it. If you are very fragile read it another day.

[RichS]

WOW!!! That page pretty much sums up my grief feelings (and probably most, if not all of us here). A few minutes after taking this in, I thought that folks like me are not only fortunate to have had 42 years to love and be loved, but to have not had such a  loss much earlier in your life and to have that many more years to have to grieve your loss. Very few of us can move on from this stuff, as outsiders often suggest.

 

 

[KayC]

That is a good book, my pastor often quotes from it.

[BabaVoz]

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