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I feel a relapse coming on ...


Shawnsfriend

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i've been trying to fight the urge but i feel it, any minute, the grief waves are about to overtake me ... *sigh*

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i've been trying to fight the urge but i feel it, any minute, the grief waves are about to overtake me ... *sigh*

This too is a normal part of grieving I have found out. I go through this at least once a month. The feeling starts and I fight it cause I don't want the tears to come and never stop, it only works for a few days, then no matter how hard I try, it comes anyway. Hang in there and you'll get through it. I found sometimes it best to not fight it and let it happen. Hugs and prayers. Vivian-Kevin's mom

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Sometimes it helps to have a good cry. I understand what you mean by a relapse. Today has been one of my lowest days since the first two weeks after it happened. I almost wish I were dead myself at times.

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me too - not that its death i want, i just want to be with my bestfriend again ...

Sometimes it helps to have a good cry. I understand what you mean by a relapse. Today has been one of my lowest days since the first two weeks after it happened. I almost wish I were dead myself at times.

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i've been trying to fight the urge but i feel it, any minute, the grief waves are about to overtake me ... *sigh*

Shawn,

What happens when you feel the grief waves? How do you feel? What do you do? I know this is tough, but talking about it really does help. It's good you came and told us.

ModKonnie

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Well the first thing i do is call Patrick (the remaining bestfriend who was apart of the trio) and he just gets upset because he thinks shawn is in a better place and not sufferring anymore and that I should be happy for shawn. (obviously those words arent comforting) - so then i just lay in bed and cry, thinking about shawn. I usually look through old pictures, re-read old emails or letters., listen to sad music (songs that shawn sent me over the years). I stop eating again, I stay in bed, ignore my phone, dont answer the door, - I just crawl under a rock for 2 -3 days :( Kinda how im feeling right now ... Yeah i guess hes in a better place but I MISS HIM and i NEED my bestfriend here. He was the MOST important person in my life ... I've lost my path, I cant call him when im stressed or depressed, I cant fight with him no more, I cant listen to him encouraging me, I cant hear him saying "I love you". I feel helpless and hopless, I feel like a SHELL just going through life, empty and hurting inside, smiling on the outside but broken in the inside.

I feel like the day after i found out he died :(

Shawn,

What happens when you feel the grief waves? How do you feel? What do you do? I know this is tough, but talking about it really does help. It's good you came and told us.

ModKonnie

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I feel like the shoe on the other foot is about to drop ANY MINUTE now, and this FRONT that ive been putting up is going to DROP!

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