Easter

[KayC]

Thinking of all of you today, hoping this isn't a day that's too hard for you.

To me it has significance as Christ rose, the most important of all Christian Holidays imo.  Anyone can be born, but to die for us and rise again?!

I've told this before although some may not have seen it.

My husband died on Father's Day, June 19 2005.  I declined my daughter's invitation to her friend's family 4th of July, not ready to be around people I didn't know, let alone all the gaiety and commotion.  But I heard about our small town 4th of July informal concert in the park so decided to go sit on the lawn for a bit and be around some of the town folks here.  I love this community.  After a bit, I left.  Came home to George's closet rung, broken and all of his clothes on the floor.  Boxed them up and set them on one side of the bedroom until it came to me 1 1/2 months later where to donate them to (I kept some that had special meaning).

Labor Day was hard...it was always special in my family, we always camped, this year no one to camp with.  I was alone.

My birthday came and went...no one remembered.  A striking difference from when George was here, he always made sure it was special.  I cried myself to sleep.

Our anniversary came...I'd planned on going to the coast where we'd honeymooned, a quiet place, great view...but I wasn't up to it.  (When at last I was, I was shocked to learn it'd been torn down).

Thanksgiving at last, my daughter was here, my son in the Air Force.  George's spot was left empty, a visible reminder to us...not that I needed any reminders.

Christmas, both kids home, both wanting to go out in the woods and get a tree, I went along with them with some cajoling, reluctantly put up and decorated a tree...more for their sake than mine.  But something happened when I put George's decorations on it, I decided to honor him in this way every year.  I put up his stocking and we wrote notes and put in it.  It became a time of remembrance.

New Year's was hard, the first year in which he hadn't lived, been a part of, it had never been a big day to me, but now it was doubly hard.

Valentine's was hard...George and I had always gone to our church' banquet together, dressed up, holding hands, flowers, exchanging glances that spoke volumes, the love flowing between us.

But as Easter approached, I major rebelled!  I was NOT going to do another "first without!"  And I told my kids, I'm not going to church, not having a big dinner!  And I didn't.  I decided to ignore the day, and no one said Happy Easter to me.  As I wanted.  The following Sunday I quietly fixed a big dinner for my kids, no one mentioned it, we just ate it like it was an everyday occurrence.

Mother's Day...no George.  It hurt, years later, when my son remembered my DIL on Mother's Day and not me.

Father's Day, alone to "celebrate" what was the hardest day of my life...that and the 19th, as wouldn't you know, I'd get double whammied with deathaversaries.

That was how I handled the holidays that first year.  Father's Day or the 19th, never has been easy.  It's a little better now that my son is a father and I can celebrate him being one.  But always there is that part of me remembering George, that final weekend...it never goes away.

[Brazil Man]

23 hours ago, KayC said:

Thinking of all of you today, hoping this isn't a day that's too hard for you.

Easter can be a different day for us because we don't have our beloved ones anymore. But we are not alone because  in fact we are a great family. For me it's a bit easier because it's been a couple of years since she is gone. Sometimes we can think that Easter is sadder for us (and it is) but it's also a reminder  of what Christ did for us and, because of His work, the certainty of meetig our beloved ones again someday. So I cay say: happy Easter for you KayC and for everybody who shares this forum.

[Sparky1]

Thank you Kay, for such an inspiring post. All holidays are very tough without our loved one, especially the first ones, and I can say that from experience. But today, like Brazil Man said, is a celebration of faith and hope that because Christ rose and defeated evil, we will also one day be reunited with all our loved ones. Happy Easter.

[movingon]

Kay, thank you for sharing this today. I was sad reading your words, and this was a difficult  weekend, but as always, you deliver us strength and faith when needed. Thank you for being here for us. 

[Brazil Man]

33 minutes ago, Gator M said:

Lord please take me or come back soon.

In the early years of my grief I used to pray for God to take my soul soon.But now I regretted of this kind of prayer and I am conformed to the life I have. I think I am not prepared enough to go and I prefer to wait the time of God. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Brazil Man]

1 hour ago, Gator M said:

I believe we are in End Times

For me some of the signs of the End of Times are the TV programs. I had never seen so much violence news as I see nowadays; and besides violence lots of nosense and weird TV shows.

 

[KayC]

Went to church early for praise team practice, then Sunday School and church and Easter Dinner, we had 87, which is about double what we normally have (small town, small church).  I spent a couple of hours in the kitchen, we had a lot of help so it went way better than the Christmas dinner with a severely burned hand and only one other person besides me to help!

Does anyone else have to get approval for their posts?  I thought it was a fluke the other day but went through it again today.

[movingon]

Gator, your words are understandable. They are your sentiments and you are here to share your loss your journey and your feelings. And it is understandable for you to not want to do this without Ann, to welcome the rapture and be with Ann and Jesus. All your feelings are valid for you. 

I would like to help those here on this forum who struggle with wanting to leave this earth, I would like to offer them delicate comforting energy and  words that heal, I like to hear the stories of strength and survival from the more advanced members, I would like those that are teetering in a very dark place to feel hope, to believe in something that can heal, to find reasons to survive this terrible time.i want to help soothe their fear. 

[KayC]

I had to the last two times!

[KayC]

And me too, Maud, me too.

[movingon]

11 minutes ago, Gator M said:

I am just going through the  1st's...and I'm teetering

Then let everyone here help you, that's what this group is for, and no , no one is asking you to post you're ok when you're not. We all post our deepest darkest feelings. We're here for each other, but because everyone is grieving differently, I think it's important that we help them differently as well. For those on that perilous edge, we want to put our arms out and pull them back in to safety. We want to show them, share with them, hope with them and believe with them that something more comforting, more peaceful in this life will come to exist for us in time, when we are ready. You are teetering, but this will slowly start to change, as you see with others here who are further along. Everything must evolve, your teetering won't remain static.. but try to believe Gator. 

[movingon]

38 minutes ago, KayC said:

And me too, Maud, me too.

Kay, you have been and continue to be a godsend for everybody here. 

[widower2]

5 hours ago, KayC said:

I had to the last two times!

Kay I'm more than surprised this happened to you of all people    But with all the issues we've been having with spammers lately, this might pop up, might be a random checker thing? It does seem to be slowing though so that's hopeful.

Hope y'all had as good of an Easter (or Passover or Festivus or whatever) as possible. 

[KayC]

6 hours ago, widower2 said:

Festivus

Reminds me of Seinfeld's Festivus...

[widower2]

Yeah that's where I got it from  

[RichS]

The birth of Christ was the greatest gift the world will ever receive. The death of Christ was the greatest example of love the world will ever receive. Easter gives me hope in that for all of the sufferings we all go through in this life, there is heaven waiting for us when our life is done. Sure, sometimes the events in our lives make us wish we were there already; but the fact that all of us on this board are all still here, means God still has some work for us to do. Being on this board supporting each other might be part of that work.

[KayC]

@widower2I love your humor!  
@RichSI couldn't agree more!

[DMB]

I had a pretty good Easter with family.  His side this year.

My deceased parents would be disappointed in me, I think.  They raised me Catholic, and I did not attend Mass on Sunday. I did pray and still realize the significance of the events of Holy Week. 

Since covid and my husband's death, I just never got back into the habit of getting up and going.  I also prefer the earliest service.  There were times I tried, and the place just makes me cry, even on the happiest occasions.  I'll keep trying when I feel I can.  It's not like they're not going to let me in!  

When my father passed, it was right after Sunday Mass.  He got home, changed his clothes, turned on his music and dropped dead of a heart attack.  My mother was not well (dementia), so I stayed with her as she could not be left alone.  Of course, she wanted to go to Mass, but not in her church so we went to mine.  This is when the crying started.  I think caring for her didn't give me time to grieve my father, however, sitting in Church the tears came easily.  Maybe this is part of why I don't go. I don't know.

[KayC]

When I lost George, going to church was really hard, we always went together and when I was up on the platform singing, he was my biggest fan and support.  Looking out over the congregation, his seat empty, and worse yet seeing someone else sitting there...that was very hard.  I switched where I sat.